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wedding table plan ideas diy
wedding table plan ideas diy - win
DIY Catering-Bride wit a celiac disease
Hi guys. So we’re currently in the process of replanning our wedding rn and it’s completely different. We found a beautiful venue up on the Buffalo river in a national forest to rent for the weekend. We are going to have a small intimate gathering 25-35 people. I’ve always wanted to get married in a national park or forest. Our original plan was to get married in Yosemite. We had everything booked and all of our deposits down right before Covid hit and then we lost everything. $4000 worth of deposits down the drain. We decided to do something close to home but that it still somewhat of a destination wedding like we planned originally. We are renting a large lodge and cabins up in Arkansas for family and friends to stay the weekend. I’ve basically got most of the details sorted but we’re having trouble with catering. I have celiac disease and am highly sensitive to anything with gluten. Our venue is sort of out in the middle of nowhere so catering options are relatively limited and even in the closest bigger city there aren’t really any safe gluten free options as catering goes. We did find one restaurant that was willing to do a drop off style of catering (no attendants, clean up, etc.) $3,600 and it would be an extra $1000 if we wanted attendants there. I don’t really have any other options at this point so me and my fiancé have been toying with the idea of catering (somewhat) our own event. There’s a bakery a few hours away that is certified gluten free and we will be getting our cakes and desserts from there but they also make GF chicken and vegetarian pot pies and we thought that might make a really nice dinner and is more in line with what we want than the other restaurant. So here’s our idea for a DIY menu First we would be ordering a large grazing table/charcuterie board for cocktail hour Appetizers- •Apple chutney bruschetta (GF) •squash croquettes •goat cheese stuffed figs (Fiancé’s brother said he would help prep the appetizers and get them into the oven) Salad- •beet salad with arugula and balsamic vinaigrette •autumn pear salad made with kale, grapes, pears, feta, roasted pecans and a vinaigrette (My mom said she would be more than happy to prepare these the morning of the wedding l) Entree- Individual Chicken or vegetarian pot pie (These take 20 minutes to thaw and ten minutes to heat in the oven) Side- Roasted fall root vegetables with honey balsamic glaze (I’m still unsure when these should be prepared and heated) Dessert (all catered)- •Wedding cake (ginger spice) •macarons •mini brownie bites •mini salted caramel cheesecake •mini apple and pumpkin pies We have a friend that’s a bartender that will help set up our drink station and we will only be doing beer, wine and mock tails (sparkling water with homemade butters+cordial) Anyways I would really love to get everyone’s input on this plan. Do you think this would be too big of an undertaking for our wedding day? My main concern is getting the appetizers made because I think they would have to be made right before they’re eaten (not entirely sure). I’ve had some family members tell me that I should just get regular catering and bring something for myself to heat up but I would really rather not spend thousands of dollars on food I wouldn’t be able to try. Before my diagnosis me and my fiancé were definitely “foodies” and still are. We really do care about having food that we both can enjoy and experience at the wedding. A few extra details- the kitchen in the lodge we are renting has an ice maker, wine cooler, heating drawer, two ovens and a commercial sized fridge and freezer and extra freezer drawers so I think we will definitely be able to prepare the amount of food we need easily. I just really need to figure out the logistics of when everything would need to be prepared. We’ve hosted many large dinner parties ourselves and thanksgiving with 25-30 people so we at least partially understand what sort of undertaking this is. Also any critiques or input on the menu would be gratefully appreciated. We also have two other people at the wedding who cannot eat gluten bc of other reasons (PCOS and ulcerative colitis) and we have some vegetarians coming but no one who is vegan.
Alright I started planning and need outside advice :)
First off my wedding date at the moment is September 2022 in hopes COVID will be much better so we can have 100 guests. The plan B is that if we have to postpone because COVID is still a pain we will just have the intimate ceremony and the big party later (possibly as an anniversary party). With that said I found a “venue” in Boynton Beach, Florida that is nice and only costs $1000 for the whole day. I’m really liking this idea and it comes with tables and chairs too. I would then have to rent linens and plates and silverware and napkins, a sound system (I am using my brother as an MC and then doing a playlist the rest of the day), and do catering. Oh and DIY ALL decorations. I am trying to keep the budget at 10k the max so I would love some creative ideas to do this. I am keep $500-800 as my dress budget and the ceremony will be on the beach. My FH is buying a suit from express so he can reuse it for when we go to weddings so I don’t know if I should consider that as part of the budget. I am trying to basically make this a big party with some wedding aspects: -fathedaughter dance -last dance instead of a first dance -cake cutting (cake will only be big enough for us to do the cutting and stuffing each other’s faces, I want to do donuts or cupcakes as my dessert for everyone else) My ideas to try to keep this budget friendly: -linens: to rent them for tables and chairs or just buy cheap tablecloths and forget about the chairs? -cake: my aunt is making it -flowers: bought fake $5 bouquets from Michaels for the girls, I would like to do solawood bouquet for mine so I can place it in a shadow box afterwards as a decoration :), skipping on bouts for the grooms and having them get a colored cloth to match the girls -food: I’m thinking taco food truck or some other food truck? -drinks: water and soda I can get from Costco, should I also get beer and wine from here? I heard with ABC wine whatever you don’t use you can return, can I do that with Costco? -Decorations: I’m going to start now and create my signs and other decoration as I see sales at Michaels and Hobby lobby then making my bridal shower into a DIY party so everyone can help out (I already asked the women in my life and they are stoked for this) I also have a cricut so I know that will help -plates,silverware, napkins: rent or go cheap and do plastic? I won’t rent cups because I saw somewhere to do mason jars so they can reuse the same cup throughout the party (environmentally friendly yay!) and then it can also be the momento (going to put a saying instead of the name and date because no one likes that) and then use the lids of the jars to be how they find their seat :) and if any get left behind I don’t mind because I can use for my plants propagation stuff lol What else am I missing? Any advice and suggestions are super helpful and appreciated :) thanks in advanced!
Officially in (preliminary) planning mode! Looking for some tips.
We are planning our wedding for September of 2022 (I know that's far off but I feel like there's so much to do!) Our budget is about 8k and we tentatively have 80-100 guests which I don't know is doable. Here's some things I'm considering so far:
Looking for a non-traditional wedding venue i.e. breweries that can do food and alcohol in house as from what I've been looking at these tend to be cheaper. If anyone knows of any good ones in the Austin, TX area please share your suggestions/tips! We have a backup option of holding it at my fiancé parents house (they live on 30 acres), but we aren't sure if that would end up being cheaper after chaitable/tent rental, booze, catering, and potentially paying for a clean up crew.
Planning on diy-ing most of my decorations and looking in to sola wood flowers
Going to get my dress online after trying some on in stores (when it's safe) and seeing what kind of cut fits best. But need some suggestions for my fiancé
Have a photographer friend who I'm going to inquire her prices for because she's new to the game
I've been digging through old posts here for tips, but if anyone else has ideas I would love to hear them! Additionally any favorite honeymoon destinations? We budgeted bigger for that because that's more important to us than the actual wedding. TYIA!! :)
Budget and Recap! 10/10/2020 West Point, NY downsized but glad we still had a celebration!
First of all Weddit thanks for all the input and help and ideas. It was great to have a place of sanity to go while we were planning this day for the last 2.5 years! Our wedding was incredible and while it wasn't the day we had originally wanted, it was perfect. I am so grateful that we were able to have our closest friends and closest family there. As we navigated our options with postponing we realized that it wasn't really an option for us. Due to my husband's job if we didn't have our celebration in October, it wasn't going to happen until at least fall 2022. We'd already been engaged for 2 years and we were both ready to move on. While postponing is the right option for some couples, we realized that there are a million reasons to celebrate so we wanted to do something this year and we can throw a huge party with everyone we love for an anniversary, birthday, big life celebration, or just because we want to. I know that having a wedding at all right now is a controversial topic. I really don't want to have the conversation with anyone about the precautions we took. Among other things, every single person that attended had to have a negative test within 24 hrs. We did not invite friends/family that would have to travel and the one bridesmaid (bff) that did travel came in with us 3 weeks early so that we could all quarantine and test multiple times. We also had ample mask wearing, sanitizer, distancing of all seating, and everything was outside. Post wedding everyone tested again and everyone was negative.I do not want to engage with anyone on if it was the right thing to do. THE BASICS Date: October 10, 2020 Guests: originally planning for 225, ended up with about 50 once we cut the list down. There were a lot of family and friends that weren't invited to our smaller celebration. Venue: The Historic Thayer Hotel at West Point Pictures:https://imgur.com/a/DpcLVeX What went not so right:
I super sprained my ankle on the way to the venue on Friday. We were picking up lunch in the town next to the hotel and I stepped of a curb wrong. I ended up with 2 grade 3 (the worst!) ankle sprains on the inside and outside of my ankle, with significant bone bruising. This was determined at my MRI the Tuesday after the wedding. Thanks to the hotel for having a wheelchair for the rehearsal, my physical therapist for being the best and facetiming me literally hours before the rehearsal, my aunt for getting multiple boots for me on her way up, and the most amazing friends I was able to walk down the aisle and overall have an amazing night.
The flowers. They were all kinds of wrong. No one else would know that but me, but instead of a bouquet with lots of flowers the greenery to flower ratio was completely wrong. The colors were wrong (way more white than burgundy) and overall the flowers were just not what I wanted. When we went for the final she didn't have a mock up done and if I were to do this again I would insist there was a mockup so that I'd know I was getting what I wanted. There were also no cake flowers provided. I would not recommend this florist (PM me if you need details)
the cake. While it tasted fine and none of our guests knew it was also all kinds of wrong. 4 days before the wedding the owner of the bakery called me and tried to completely change our cake. We were meant to have a full buttercream cake with the bottom tier burgundy ombre and flowers on the cake. This was what we got instead There was fondant and it looked like an episode of "nailed it". Our Maitre'd also said that the overall quality of the cake was terrible (this was their preferred vendor and apparently quality has been declining) and I honestly felt like we were scammed between the tasting and presentation and what we ended up with. I would never recommend anyone get a cake from Sweet Grace bakery in NJ.
Some key family members weren't able to be there. My husband's aunt and uncle, who was supposed to be our second officiant, couldn't be there due to a medical issue (unrelated to COVID) and he was very much missed. A dear friend was also unable to come be a bridesmaid in the wedding due to the pandemic. She moved abroad and was going to come back to the states, see family and quarantine, but given current restrictions, she was nervous about being able to get back to her home so she wasn't able to be there.
What went right:
literally everything else.
I walked down the aisle to "Storybook Love" from the princess bride. The ceremony made me cry. My husband's vows were the most romantic and I felt like our ceremony was a perfect blend of us. We are an interfaith couple and we wrote our ceremony with the help of our officiant, my aunt. We used both a reading from the bible and followed many cultural jewish traditions. More than one person told me that they loved how we did a modern secular reading of the seven blessings and we had descriptions of all of the rituals and traditions in our program. If anyone wants a link to the rituals and traditions in a jew-ish wedding i'm happy to pass along.
Streaming was amazing. We hired someone my mom found (PM for info, he was seriously great) to set up streaming for our ceremony. The stream was high quality, our website worked well, putting the program online and making a virtual guestbook were great touches. It was streamed through youtube live and it was so nice that it auto records so that we could see it right away! I'd recommend kudoboard for anyone that is doing a virtual ceremony. We loved reading all of the notes and I had the board printed to put with our untraditional guestbook
the food! Omg the food. We had a cocktail hour with individually plated apps, a 5 course dinner, dessert, and a farewell station. Our venue also wrapped up all of the food my husband and I couldn't eat and it was just delicious. Food, photo, and overall vibe were the top things for us and we definitely achieved it.
photo and video-- i'm obsessed with our photographer, PM me for the details because I didn't ask about posting. Our videographer was also amazing and he actually stuck around for like 20 min after his scheduled end time so he could see us attempt to cut the cake with a sword. I would highly recommend both
My veil and makeup! My veil was made by the incredible Morgan from Cicada bridal in Seattle and Makeup was perfect. Our makeup artist (PM for details) did a great job of keeping us on a schedule and overall made the morning vibe perfect. She stood up for me when I needed it the day of the wedding as well. Those two things really made me feel like my look came together and my bridesmaids all loved their looks.
Mismatched bridesmaid dressed. Honestly I'm just obsessed with the burgundy to blush look and i'd do this again in a heartbeat. I am so glad that everyone picked their own dresses. I gave all bridesmaids $100 to get a dress.
the band! everyone had a great time and they did a really good job reading the room on when it was time to eat vs when some people wanted to dance. They never called everyone to the dance floor and we had an amazing night. Even my aunt who had been beyond a hermit for the last 8 months felt safe during some of the slow songs to dance with my uncle, away from everyone.
BUDGET BREAKDOWN I am doing my best to break down the budget as detailed as possible. We got married in a HCOL area and our original budget reflects the plan for a more traditional Jewish wedding, where parents were allowed to invite friends. It was important to us that everyone was there with us, our whole proverbial community and we knew there would be a premium paid for that. Once we downsized and added streaming I know there were ways to do it for less, but the quality of the virtual experience was important to us. I don't regret for one second what we spent on things, and we could've easily spent more. I am putting this budget breakdown in because the two in my budget range that I saw when I was planning made me feel more sane. I really do not appreciate the budget shaming that often happens on this sub. It was hard planning in such a HCOL area where the national averages are not representative, so I do hope this can help anyone who is looking for what things really cost for a wedding of this size in and around NYC One thing to note is that we got engaged in June 2018 and while we spent a lot of money, a lot of it was spread out over nearly 2.5 years. Day to day, the amount spent on the wedding didn't impact our budget and we did not go into any debt. My parents contributed a set amount to the wedding and my fiancé's parents covered the rehearsal dinner. I am not including my engagement ring or the honeymoon in this because I have a rough idea of how much my husband spent on my ring, but I've never asked for sure and our honeymoon is not going to happen until the world opens up. We are planning on taking 2 big trips to double celebrate our honeymoon (and because since we're waiting, why not?) to Japan and then to South Africa and Namibia. totals: all totals include gratuities initial budget: 80k planned budget pre-covid: 100k Total spent (including things that were not really in the budget) ~50k Breakdown: ****Ceremony and Reception: ****
Venue and Catering:$14,005.18 This included the fee for the ceremony ($1500), AV setup (hardwired internet), breakfast/lunch the day of, all wedding food, open bar, matire'd fee, gratuities/taxes, all linens, china, table setup, staff, cake, etc. this also includes the cost for the bride and groom's hotel room for 1 night as it was comped the other night.
Officiants:$600, we had my aunt officiate and did the legal bits in a count house months earlier so she did this for free but we paid for her hotel room (2 nights) as a thank you so
Ceremony Streaming:$750. This was a last minute cost and while we both think it was a bit high, the streaming was perfect and paying to not have that stress was incredible. I'd highly recommend the guy who did our streaming as he set everything up well and we got so many compliments on the stream.
Ceremony/Cocktail Hour Music:$700 this included a flute/violin duet for a prelude and ceremony and then a jazz trio for cocktail hour. They were great.
Flowers:$3,906.76 . We are in discussions with the florist that we did not get the things we asked for and are looking for a refund in some part of this. Our original estimate pre covid was aver $5,000 for flowers to give some context. we had 7 bridesmaids bouquets, 1 brides bouquet, 7 table centerpieces, chuppah rental and florals, and placecard table flowers.
Cocktail Hour Decor:~50. I am so glad I did this myself since our flowers generally sucked and they wanted to charge me $35 per bud vase. I thrifted bud vases and bought some from a bride on reddit, then I got 2 old atlases from half price books, some floral wire, and then tiny black rocks from amazon. Overall this DIY cost me like $50 and it was perfect. Also in this cost are some cool votive candles I bought from amazon.
Photography:$6,000. incredible would 100% recommend. PM me for the name. This included 10 hrs of shooting, over 800 photos, and an album
Videography:$2,000 incredible would 100% recommend. PM me for the name. This included a full day of shooting, all raw footage, a ~5 min highlight video and a full ceremony video.
Sabers for Saber Arch:$100 donation to the West Point Hostess Office
Photo Booth:$350 total.$250 deposit lost due to covid. Once we moved everything outside we didn't have a good place for the photo booth or to run electricity to it. So we cancelled that and instead spent $100 on a big cutout frame we hung from the ceiling. Originally the photobooth was going to be another $400 so I'm just counting it was coming out ahead.
Tents and dance floor rental:~$3,500 this was an additional cost that we took on as a covid precaution and it was perfect. This includes rentals (2 tents with walls that we ended up keeping up), having tent heaters on standby (they weren't needed), and the dance floor. My mom did a great job working with the venue and the rental organization to get a great setup and flow with the tents.
Party Entertainment:$8,500 this includes 10 musicians and live continuous music for the entire party. Also includes their travel fee and they MC'd our entire reception. They were wonderful!
****Appearances ****
Gown/Alterations:$1400 for the gown, $895 for alterations - I felt incredible and I hope some of the photos I posted help any bride who is size conscious to know that even at my heaviest I felt amazing and your size shouldn't stop you from having an amazing time.
Bridal Hair and Makeup:Hair $300, Makeup $325, bridesmaids/moms - hair $100-$150 depending on style, $125 for makeup. Both services were optional for bridesmaids and my mom decided the week of the wedding to help subsidize the cost for all bridesmaids who elected to have the services.
Bridal Accessories:$610 Veil ($500), party earrings ($45), ceremony earrings ($0), and party headpiece ($65). All other jewelry (hat, diamond necklace, diamond bracelet, other rings) were all family pieces
Bridesmaids Dresses:$600 - $100 per bridesmaid. Note: this wasn't necessary for groomsmen because they were all in uniforms, except my brother and my dad covered his tux
Groom's outfit:~80, $70 for a special uniform belt for his saber an then $10 on socks with our cat's face on them
Wedding Rings:$1850 for both rings, his was from Costco, mine was made from diamonds I got at an estate sale by a local. jeweler. I am obsessed with my ring. there was an additional cost to polish/dip our rings and watches and jewelry but I'm not counting it in this budget because it's regular maintenance.
****Gifts and things people kept****
Stationary:~ 350 + invitations this includes: save the dates ($175), invites, thank you notes, & invitations to our virtual celebration (honestly I don't know my mom just paid directly to the invitation lady), ceremony programs ($70), menus ($30), place cards ($30),
Wedding Party Gifts:~$550 for 6 bridesmaids, 5 groomsmen and 2 jr groomsmen. bridesmaids got a zip up for getting ready, a makeup case and a faux fur shawl in case they were cold. Groomsmen got a yeti bottle opener and a six pack of their favorite beer. Not including the gifts we gave when we asked them to be in the wedding
Welcome gifts and Bathroom Basket:~$300, 25 bags we included 2 new mexico soaps, costco snacks and drinks in a canvas bag. the bathroom basket stuff was all free and leftover things we used from my cousin's bat mitzvah
Favors:$241.51 we had the cutest little globes we filled with gummy bears! The shipping on the gummy bears was dumb but weddings make you do dumb things.
Flip Flops :$30 for 30 pairs of flip flops. My mom bought the baskets from Marshalls, not sure how much they were but assuming under $20 each. We ended up selling the ones we didn't use.
****Misc****
Wedding insurance:$636.00 this includes the liability insurance required by our venue and full cancellation insurance in case my husband was unexpectedly deployed. We didn't want to take any chances with this and losing deposits/full amounts, even though in the contracts we ensured there were military clauses throughout. This was purchased in 2019 and gave us incredible piece of mind as we opted for full full coverage.
Misc Decor and things:$500 This includes: photo frames (we did pics of us in the tub as kids on the bathroom doors) and a photo table, placecard holders, ribbons so we could do a socially distanced hora, a Mr. and Mrs sign for our table, alcohol for our suite afterparty, chargers for the tables, kudoboard (unlimited), website domain
****Not counted in this budget **** Dance Lessons:~$600 This money would've been super well spent if I hadn't hurt myself. we still did dance a bit but it wasn't what we planned. One day we can use those skills. I actually had a great time at the dance lessons and I'd 100% do it again. Pre Marital Counseling:~$500 very much money well spent. We did 4 sessions with a counselor online in the weeks before the wedding. We both felt like we got some great tools and it was a fantastic outlet for conversations we needed to have. I liked that it was virtual which made it accessible and I feel like we could go back to that counselor if we ever needed it. Ketubah:~400, this was a Hanukkah gift in 2019 Smashing Glasses:~200 this was a gift from my aunt who officiated the wedding. Engagement Ring Honeymoon Post-Wedding Brunch - My parents paid for this, it was casual Wedding Shoes:~$400, I bought these incredible something bleu shoes Navy kitten heels and then glitter keds for the party. I ended up in a boot and a sneaker so womp. But luckily both pairs of these shoes aren't very "bridal" and i'm definitely planning on wearing the glitter keds to the next tech conference I go to. I don't consider these "wedding budget" things because I'll wear them other times as well. Rehearsal dinner - MIL paid for this I'm glad I can post this and happy to talk to any other brides/grooms who are in the midst of planning!
Help from DIY-ers? How can I make these hoop centerpieces happen?
(cross posted to DIY weddings) So I am NOT a crafty person at all (and have very limited space in my apartment for either crafting or storage, no outdoor space or garage at all, no car). My original plan was to rent fake flowers for centerpieces...everyone hated the idea lol. My FMIL is craftier and thinks she can make the centerpieces herself as a gift (I would purchase, she would do the labor). She thinks we can do these centerpieces for under 30 per table, but I'm just lost on how we could possibly do it. Would love ANY tips or experience if anyone's done them! The centerpieces I like look this: Example 1 Example 2 Example 3 I've found a relatively affordable hoop on amazon here...I'm not sure if it's possible to find cheaper but would love resources if anyone has them? I am also really unsure HOW we would actually attack these to a base securely without having to nail them in or something complicated....And then for flowers I've been looking at ling's moment, a box costs between 24 - 30 dollars but it looks like we'd need a box per centerpiece...so already the budget is kind of blown.... A lot of tutorials seem to use hula hoops but I'm a little wary...first, I can't find cheap hula hoops (like 5 or under per hoop?) anywhere online. Secondly I'm concerned it's too labor intensive for FMIL (stripping them, repainting, etc). And thirdly I'm concerned they are too light and will topple over... So basically I'm just lost. Would love to hear from some expert DIYers on this whole idea.
Planning a big destination wedding in Hawaii (Honolulu, 200ppl) -- would really want to DIY centerpieces but need advice if it is worth it to ship over there versus just hiring a florist which i would imagine would cost a lot for 20 tables. FYI -- i have a friend that lives there that i could possibly ship to in advance. Also as far as ideas i'm thinking of bud vases with a single flower or single leaves (minimal) mixed with some geometric shapes and candles. Do you think that vision is minimal enough to bring the cost down? Please help!!
Oops, I’m a covid bride... A picnic wedding reception wasn’t my original ~vision~ but I’m rolling with the punches. Postponing our wedding has made us realize how expensive our original plan was, so we’re rethinking everything as we try to find a celebration that will fit our budget. Side note: We‘re not planning to do this until the pandemic has calmed down. My inner bridezilla hates all the waiting but I’m not willing to risk anyone’s health. THE VIBE I’m going for “garden party” as opposed to “rustic farmhouse chic,” but I also want things to feel laid-back and easy THE LOCATION A public park in the middle of my city THE TIME 11:00 am following the 10:00 am ceremony at our church THE DETAILS • The menu consists of brunch-y finger foods like fruit skewers and bagels, mimosas, and cupcakes for dessert • To save on a DJ, we’ll replace music/dancing with lawn games and other activities (croquet, hula hoops, a wedding cake piñata, a photo scavenger hunt with prizes) • Seating will consist of picnic blankets, with chairs/tables provided for those who are physically unable to sit comfortably on the ground • Flip-flop sandals as party favors will give people the option to change out of their heels • A Selfie Spot instead of a photo booth will save so much money it’s actually OBSCENE WHERE I NEED HELP • A timeline. Will guests eat and immediately leave if there’s no dancing? I‘m hoping that if we schedule the scavenger hunt prizes and the piñata for an hour or so after brunch is served, there will be something keeping everyone here. • Seating logistics. For the original wedding, I created a seating chart (which is suuuuper necessary for this group) that had 8 people per table—which, in this case, means 8 people per picnic blanket. How big should each blanket be to comfortably accommodate 8 guests? I’m also providing a pillow for each guest to sit on...anybody know where to get like 60 pillows for real cheap? My mom is sewing pillowcases to help everything match. • Decorations. I’m keeping these to a minimum: a couple of signs with directions, props and a backdrop for the Selfie Spot, and centerpieces. I’m planning to buy small wooden boxes I can put in the middle of each picnic blanket to hold table numbers and centerpieces; any ideas on where to get boxes like that? Suggestions for decorations I haven’t thought of? • Set-up logistics. Someone needs to go set everything up the morning of the event and babysit everything while the ceremony is going on—it’s a public park, and while we’re allowed to reserve it for the wedding, the park doesn’t provide security to keep people away from our stuff. Has anyone done this before? I can’t ask my MOH because whoever is in charge of this will have to miss the wedding itself. Sorry this post got so long. I love love love this stage of the planning process and now that I’m over the initial disappointment of postponing, I’m excited to start it all over again. Let me know if you have ideas/critiques/suggestions—I’m super open to brainstorming, I love to DIY, and my Pinterest app is OPEN!
About me Age: 30 Location: NYC Metro Area Industry: Media Job: Advertising Account Executive Years working: 8 years Race/Ethnicity (Adding this here because I think its important to show diversity in the MDs): I am a black woman and I am first generation in the U.S. Section One: Assets and Debt
Retirement Balance (and how you got there): 401k balance is currently at $93k. Company match is 6%, I contribute 8%.
Savings account balance: $30k in future savings in a HYSA for a future home/my next move, $10k in emergency savings, $1.3k in travel savings for whenever I feel safe enough to travel again
Credit card debt (and how you accumulated it): $900, I pay my cards off in full as soon as the statement closes
Student loan debt (for what degree): $0. Went to college on a full ride scholarship, very thankful for it.
Section Two: Income
Main Job Monthly Take Home: Averages between $4,500-$5,000. I work in sales and make a base salary and then also get paid on commission so it fluctuates depending on how I perform each month.
Section Three: Expenses
Rent / Mortgage / HOA fees (please specify how you split it if living with a partner): $1700 for my half of the rent. I have a roommate and I live in a luxury building in a 2bd/2ba with gym, laundry in unit, central air, club rooms and courtyard.
Renters / home insurance: $100ish? I dont remember, I venmo’d my roommate for this
Retirement contribution: 8%
Savings contribution: Varies monthly but is usually around $1,500 with 70% into my future savings and 30% into my travel savings
Investment contribution: I invest $50 monthly on Stash Invest, also invest into an index fund but haven’t created a schedule for this yet working with a financial advisor to come up with a plan. I also do some purchasing of stocks on Robinhood, I’m learning! Also planning on maxing out my ROTH IRA this year
Donations: $60 split between my church and my local shelter
Subscriptions: Netflix and Spotify (~$20)
Gym membership: Have a gym in my building that’s currently closed :(
Dining out: Also is different now, I budget $100 a month to do a weekly takeout order and I also spend around $10 a week on coffee from local shops as a treat
Health/Medical: Birth control is free!
Personal/Miscellaneous: Used to budget for blowouts and mani/pedis but its all DIY right now!
Monday 6/8 - 7:15am: My alarm goes off and I get up, I am trying to be more intentional about having a real morning routine since I will be WFH until at least the end of September (BIG SIGH). I’ve been WFH since March 13th and I’ve kind of just been waking up whenever and I think it’s time to get back on a routine. 7:45am: After making my bed and doing some journaling, I have my workout clothes on and I’m going for a run 8:25am: Solid morning run, I head back to my apartment and lay on my living room floor to stretch before I go shower. I get dressed and fill in my brows and add mascara and put on shorts with a tank. It feels nice to get ready for the day, and I even throw on some fun earrings. 9:00am: Log on to work while also making a frittata with veggies I got from the Farmers Market. I update my google sheet that I use to track my finances. 1:00pm: After meetings and calls its lunch time but also our town hall for work. I decide to multi-task and listen along while I head to CVS. Don't you LOVE when all of your products run out at once? I browse the CVS app for coupons because I am my grandmothers daughter and load them up for my shopping! I get toothpaste, body wash, body scrub, pads and deodorant. I get $12 off from all of my coupons and I am amused at the register by this when I see them get deducted...the cashier guy is not lol. I also decide to get $40 of cash since I haven’t been to an ATM in months. ($28) 1:30pm: Back home and still listening to the town hall, I unload the dishwasher and make a Trader Joes veggie saute kit. I have it with a crabcake on the side. Productive lunch break! 3pm: At 3pm everyday while working I have tea time where I make a cup of tea and have a snack. It’s a nice ritual to break up being glued to my computer. I also make an order on Target.com for a wireless mouse, mousepad with support, moisturizer and body lotion. ($39) 4pm: I have declared 4pm as COUCH TIME. I move from my “desk” aka dining table to my couch and put on YouTube videos, and go on a mission for Inbox Zero to kick off the week 5:30pm: Okay didn't make it to inbox zero BUT I did get it down to the few things I need to follow up on tomorrow. Working sales, I’m constantly either reaching out to clients about orders, making sure the orders were booked and also tracking my revenue. I am currently pacing a little under for June and I’m an overachiever and want to make sure I hit my goal. I write down my to-do list and log off and put my laptop away. I unfortunately forgot to send a calendar invite for a presentation for tomorrow (yiiiikes) so I ask if we can reschedule to later this week. Time for some BRAVO reality tv. 7:00pm: Have dinner and a glass of wine while catching the latest episode of Insecure, also decide to buy a YETI mug from Amazon since now my weekends consist of day drinking outdoors in the park with friends and who is trying to drink a warm whiteclaw? Not me. ($37) 9:30pm: Since I’m being more intentional about having routines I’m in bed watching tv and planning on lights out by 10:30! Daily Total: $105 Tuesday 6/9: 7:15am: Up and at em. Not sure if I’m loving this earlier wake up time but I get up and get out for my run 8:30am: Back home and sweaty AF, do some stretching on the floor before hitting the shower 9:15am: Logged on with coffee and my frittata. Adding potatoes was a nice choice. 11:00am: First meeting of the day is complete. I notice two of my credit card statements have closed, they are my AMEX and Chase Sapphire Reserve cards. I pay both off. 2:30pm: Right when I get off of a call, my building's fire alarm goes off. I go outside with some of my neighbors and chat 4:00pm: COUCH TIME. I’ve been working ahead to get things in order for 3Q to make sure I am on track to reach my goal, I update my progress in my sales activity tracker 5:00pm: Logging off from work, I take a break to watch some TV before I work on some school work. I am working on getting a certification and my job will pay me back as long as I pass. I have a few weeks left 9:30pm: Put on a Caudelie face mask and then do some reading in bed for a little and then lights out. Daily Total: $0 Wednesday 6/10: 7:15am: Alarm goes off but it’s about to be that time of the month so I sluggishly get up and decide my AM workout will just be yoga. I have a call with my financial adviser at 9am so I go through my routine. One of my friends has sent me a $40 off deal for Hello Fresh and I am so tired of having to go to the grocery store so I sign up to get three meals for $22 and they will arrive on Monday. I make a mental note to cancel as soon as it ships as I’m only in it for the deal. 10:00am: My head is spinning after that call with my adviser, it is a benefit through work and I want to learn more and get better at investing. He is going to help to put together a portfolio recommendation and I have a homework assignment to upload my information to their portal. It feels good to be taking charge of my financial future! 1:00pm: End up going to the Dunkin Donuts nearby for an iced coffee and sit in the park for a little before returning and logging on. I use money loaded onto my app. I want to start going to local coffee shops as soon as I use up the money on my Dunkin and Starbucks apps. #SupportLocal 5:35pm: Productive afternoon so I am logging off! 6:30pm: Have dinner which is leftovers from yesterday consisting of Salmon, spinach and potatoes. Call some family members to catch up and then log on to do some studying for my final exam. I also join our final office hours while taking notes on what to do for our capstone project. 9:30pm: Cup of sleepytime tea and Queer Eye episodes #bliss Daily Total: $22 Thursday 6/10: 7:15am: UP AND AT EM, I’m happy that I am being consistent with this routine and I think it sets a good tone for my day. I drink a large glass of water and do some journaling before putting on my workout clothes. 8:35am: I am a sweaty mess on my bedroom floor after doing a Rumble workout. Hit the shower and get ready for the day. I notice some of my packages have arrived so I run downstairs to get them. My new Yeti mug and supportive mousepad have arrived! I am trying to work on cutting down on my screen time so I leave my phone in my bedroom while I work in the living room. 12:30pm: Thursday’s wipe me out because I have back to back to back meetings all on video in the morning. I close my laptop and take a break to eat lunch. I have a client presentation at 2pm so I run out to grab wine for the weekend. Since quarantine started I have limited my drinking from Thursday-Sunday because I need something to look forward to. I ended up spending way more than planned because I purchased a bottle of tequila that the store guy recommended, skinny margarita mix and two bottles of wine WOOPS ($70). I also stop at Walgreens for birthday cards for my aunts and bug spray because I’m going hiking on Saturday. ($15) 4pm: Presentation went well and I am on the couch for the rest of the afternoon, looking forward to my summer Friday tomorrow and trying to get as much done as possible 6:00pm: Run out to Trader Joes to get a few things for hiking on Saturday and also to hold me over until my Hello Fresh order arrives. I get lemons, limes, spinach, pellegrino, two packs of chicken, eggs, hand soap, a candle, zoodles, ice cream, eggs, plantain chips, popcorn, cheese , salami, almond milk and jalapeno limeade for margs ($70) 9pm: Somehow got sucked into Total Bellas on E! I pour my celebratory glass of wine for making it through the week and for tomorrow being FRIDAY. One of my favorite shows The Bold Type is back but Freeform moved it to a 10p timeslot so I stay up to watch. Daily Total: $155 Friday 6/11: 7:15am: ITS FRIDAY. I decided to skip the workout today because I’ve worked out everyday for the past week. I do my usual journaling which includes reading a scripture on the Bible app, writing out what I’m grateful for and writing a few affirmations. It puts me in a good mood for the day. 8:30am: Up and dressed and ready to go get my Friday latte from a local coffee shop I love. I realize I need to mobile order next time as I end up having to wait awhile. Luckily, I had some entertainment when a corgi puppy wiggled out of his harness and his owner had to chase him around. I get my caramel skim latte (#treatyouself) and head to the park for a little. ($5) 9:00am: If there’s one thing I’ve learned in quarantine it’s that starting my day in nature, either by water or surrounded by trees/grass, makes a huge difference. I sit in the park and enjoy the sunshine. I walk home and warm up some of my frittata and log into work. We have summer Fridays meaning we get to end working at 2p, however the last couple weeks I’ve ended up working until 5pm so I’m going to try my best to avoid that. I cut up some limes and lemons to add to my brita pitcher, fill up my water bottle and get to working. 11:00am: Have a meeting with my boss where she mentions she wants to get me promoted! I am happy with this news but know it means I need to keep working my butt off and also make sure I exceed my budget for 2020 2pm: I pour a whiteclaw into my YETI mug, grab my camping chair and head to a nearby park to finish up some work since I am done with meetings for the day. It’s so nice to sit outside but I realize the wifi isnt working so I catch up on drafting a ton of emails and doing some admin work. 3:30pm: Decide to head home to shoot all of the emails out. I also submit a request to turn my work phone into a hotspot so I can work in other locations. Since we will be WFH until 9/30 I think this is a fair request to make. 4:30pm: FINALLY logging off at 4:30 and not 2pm as planned but I am taking off on Monday which will be my first day off since March so I want to make sure I don’t leave anything pending 7:00pm: It’s takeout friday! I order a personal pizza and fried calamari from my local pizzeria. It surprisingly comes quickly! I start watching the Hulu show “Four Weddings and a Funeral” and then switch to “Dating Around” on Netflix. Those are my Friday night plans. The weirdest thing about quarantine is that I was such a social person who always had plans and was always going out so I can’t help but still feel like a loser having no Friday or Saturday night plans but the truth is NOBODY has plans we’re all at home. I put a face mask on and throw my laundry in the machine. In unit laundry is a blessing that I never want to live without ever again. ($30) Daily Total: $35 Saturday 6/12: 9:00am: When you're 30, you consider getting up at 9am on the weekends to be an accomplishment. I make coffee in my French press and pour a huge cup into my Minnie Mouse mug from Disney World (how I miss you Disney). I check in with my friend about when she plans on picking me up to go hiking and read a little in bed. I like taking my weekend mornings slow. 11:00am: I finally get up and hit the shower and get ready for the day. I pull out my cooler and picnic blanket and start to pack up the snacks for our pre-hike picnic. 1:00pm: My friend finally arrives and I’m excited to get out of town. I haven’t left my town all quarantine so this is an adventure. We have the idea to pick up lobster rolls on the way and I place the order when I get into the car. ($20 for mine, she venmos me for hers) 6:30pm: Back home after a great day in nature. I feel so relaxed and peaceful and being in the quiet and taking it all in on the hike was refreshing. The lobster rolls were also divine. I hop in the shower and warm up my leftover takeout, pour a glass of wine and spend the night on the couch. 9:00pm: I’ve finished up on “Dating Around” and wow it really makes me miss dating. I take back everything I ever said about hating dating LOL. I also think a lot about this current season of singleness, I’ve been single for a little over a year now and I’m really proud of how far I’ve come and how much peace I feel with myself. I know at the right time I’ll meet my person and I’m not going to live stressed or worried because that's pointless. I move from the couch to my bed (the only traveling I do these days) and put on “The Lovebirds” on Netflix with Issa Rae and it’s actually really funny. Lights out after that! Daily Total: $20 Sunday 6/13: 9:00am: My tolerance has definitely changed while in quarantine. I had two glasses of wine last night and have a teeeeeny headache. Who have I become? I drink a huge cup of water and settle back into bed with coffee in my Minnie mug. I feel much better afterwards, thankfully. I watch a little of CBS Sunday Morning and then out on my church’s live stream and settle in. 11:00am: Is there anything better than the smell of bacon cooking on the weekends? I make a breakfast of eggs, bacon and mini silver dollar pancakes. 12:00pm: I set up to take my final exam for my certificate course. I take my time and go through all 50 of the questions and then submit. I got an A! So I am happy about that. All that is left is my capstone project and then I can submit everything to my job and get reimbursed. My company has an education assistance program where you will get reimbursed up to a certain amount as long as it relates to your position. I decided to take advantage of it because I know I won’t be going back for my MBA and I wanted to do SOMETHING. This was a nice challenge and it felt good to be in a learning environment again and it started on April 1st right when the pandemic was at its height so it has been something to do that is productive. 2:00pm: After my exam, I do some reading on the NY times website and I upload documents to the portal for my financial adviser. I also went through a few work emails and put my out of office on for tomorrow. 3:00pm: As a reward for passing my exam, I decided to order Chipotle. I order a bowl with brown rice, steak, both types of beans, sour cream, salsa, lettuce and guac on the side. ($16) 7:00pm: I pour a glass of wine and get started on Sunday dinner. A new ritual I established in quarantine that I have been loving. I make chicken parm with zoodles which comes out great. 9:00pm: I watch some more Queer Eye and text my roommate to see if she is still planning on going to the beach tomorrow and she is! It’s going to be a great day off. I take out my beach bag and start tossing things into it that I’ll need. Daily Total: $16 Weekly Total: $353 - This week was slightly above average as I purchased a few things to improve my quarantine/WFH life like the wireless mouse, mousepad, YETI mug and I also needed to stock up on my personal hygiene essentials from CVS. Getting back go a structured routine has helped me a lot and I can notice a difference already. It also felt amazing to venture out this weekend after only being in my town since March. For me while living in quarantine and working from home I really need to take charge of my day in order to feel great.
Continue the discussion below, any post from the list grabbed your attention this week, made an impression within the context of FIRE, maybe presented additional questions or an opportunity for further discussion here.
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I don't want death but I feel that life is being sucked out of me. Longpost!
This will probably sound cringe, but I was always a “gifted” person; Effortlessly smart and talented at most everything I've tried or at least everything I cared to do well at. I didn’t ever do much of anything of note with those special talents. Always procrastinated and slothed around. Always felt like there was more time. Depression, addiction and anxiety all run in one side of my family. All goodies that I received in the birth lottery. As a child I remember having a lot of strange feelings both mental and physical. In 2nd grade I started crying and begging to not go to school. I was tested, found to have a really high IQ and recommended for educational enrichment. We ended up moving to a different town/school. Things were /relatively/ normal for a bit. I was always sloppy and procrastinated, but I did what I could at that age. When I hit pubescent age, it was like a switch flipped. I felt an extreme predilection toward mischief and destruction, as well as an uncontrollable curiosity/desire to use drugs. As a young teen I tried DXM, opioids, inhalants, weed, etc. This period of experimentation and acting up persisted for a couple years until one day I went to a friends’ house where we drank, barely slept, and I woke up to have my first (and only, really) couple energy drinks the next morning. Then my mother picked me up and dropped me off at church. I had my first full on panic attack at said church. The next few months were plagued by anxiety attacks, derealization and general discomfort. After this experience, I eased up considerably on misbehavior and experimentation through high school. I got my first real girlfriend, started a metal band with my close friends, my grades went back up to A’s. I became field commander in marching band. By the end of high school, I was with a different girlfriend and still playing shows with my friends. When it came time to go to college, I followed this girlfriend and my best friend to a local university. Within a year, she had dumped me and my best friend had a severe concussion and had to drop out of school. My anxiety was out of control. I tried smoking weed with friends to relax, but it often made my anxiety, tics and neuroses even worse. Then I slowly rediscovered alcohol. And picked up smoking cigarettes. I ended up pledging to a fraternity. This was more of a stoneslackeyou’re-smart-but-you-don’t-apply-yourself group of people than a traditional fraternity. We did love to party, however. And that’s what I ended up doing in college. I focused on partying and doing ridiculous shit. That person that I had instantaneously become at puberty had slowly returned. I felt like shit, but I kept doing it. I skated by in school through my ability to easily ace tests, write papers and retain info. I barely did my homework, or at least barely tried at it. At several points my anxiety was so bad while sober that I could barely make it through a class, embarrassingly hyperventilating and fidgeting in the same seats week after week. Soon enough, I was basically drinking 24/7. It was very easy to play it off and co-enable the addiction among my friends; many, if not most, of whom also had mental illnesses. We continued having parties, making excuses for constant drinking. We were, in retrospect, a very unwell and antisocial group of people. We “knew” this, and joked about it, but I don’t think we /realized/ the extent of it. It was like there was, somewhere, a core magnet attracting mental issues and addictions, drawing in all kinds of the wild characters we befriended and partied with. Then, college ended. By the end of my “academic career”, I was working alongside a couple friends at the little college bar, right across the street from an apartment shared by four of us. We worked hard, but drank almost constantly; on the clock or off. Our boss was a sweet and well-intentioned older woman whose husband had passed and left her some money, which she employed, under the sadly deluded dream of being able to make a quaint, Irish-style pub in this small but party-frenzied college town. She usually left and went to bed by around 8pm. The bar, when it did get busy, would fill up around 10 and go until 2am or later. We had many bizarre and hilarious nights; that much I can’t deny. But this was a highly toxic environment. We were entrusted with the responsibility of running this place, essentially, with little oversight or at least highly inefficient and naïve oversight. I filled my cup from the tap constantly as I worked. After graduation, I quit and moved back with my parents. I got a temporary position delivering pizza (yes, while still drinking). I recognized the extent of my depression and self medication, and slowly got down to the point where I was only really having a couple beers at night. This seemed like a good time to put the criminology degree, which I’d seemingly unintentionally purchased for 30k dollars in the midst of a sick partying streak, to use. I had no interest in criminology, by the way, I just switched my major to match a former roommate and drinking buddy’s. I did, however, like the idea of social work. And said roommate had procured a job with a private social work agency. Seemed worth a shot. I got the job. I made 10/hr plus additional pay-per-mile of transportation, and a slightly higher pay rate for some services. This was essentially a pay cut, even from delivering pizza, to do a much more complicated and socially necessary job. I was assigned maybe three cases. One of these was two boys who had been separated from their parents. They were a redneck family, and the boys often displayed signs of learned racist behaviors and tropes. The younger one, 9, literally drew a swastika on a picnic table during a visit. His older brother, 11, once boisterously accused his younger sibling of “Saying n****r a lot” from halfway across the public park where the visit was taking place. These kids lived with their grandmother, who was dying of a terminal illness. She called me one night and sobbed for an hour, told me that the parents had been illegally taking the kids from her house and threatening her if she told anyone. She wept and said she wasn’t going to make it much longer and didn’t know what to do. I was making ten dollars an hour for this. One of my paychecks never arrived and nobody offered much help. I started drinking more. I ended up drinking a little to attend the visits with the aforementioned family. Finally, I quit the job. I went back to work at the college bar again. Some of my friends were still living in my former house across from it, working there and attending school. I crashed there often. I was back to full-time drinking and heavy chain smoking. I had given up. I was unkempt and unhygienic, as I often am during my worst times. Then, somehow, a beautiful, smart and sweet girl who I had been acquainted with took an interest in me. We began seeing each other. I was still constantly drinking but over time while seeing her I grew ashamed and tired of trying to hide the extent of it, which enabled me to slowly cut down. I switched to kratom, which made the final leap out of alcoholism much easier. I was still heavily smoking cigarettes. This was, in retrospect, one of the most amazing times of my life. Our relationship was incredible. I moved, with one of my closer friends, to a new apartment and got a job at a new barestaurant without such an overtly destructive atmosphere. I started making art again. I started work on an album of the highly idiosyncratic music I had always dreamt of creating, with the luckily enlisted help of a recording engineer who enjoyed and supported my niche vision. I had some friends who lived upstairs who were always up to something, be it skating or drawing, or having DIY house shows. Some other friends of mine had a plan to start a DIY music venue. We bit the bullet and did it. Bands from all over the country came and played, local bands started thriving because of having a place to play. New bands and acts formed directly because of this place. If only I would have just taken the fucking reins right here. If I would have been lucid enough to realize how fucking lucky I was. Instead, I slowly let my goddamn depression consume me again. The kratom I had started to consistently take to get off alcohol just became my new vice, and my dose shot up with my tolerance. I became complacent taking kratom to do anything. I also felt like shit from continued heavy smoking for the past however many years, and I think this motivated my use of kratom a lot. It eased the discomfort in my body and mind. In reality, I think I am very sensitive to the negative effects of smoking and had even been self medicating those with my alcohol use too. Gradually, work on my album slowed. The new job became ever-busier and more stress-inducing. I had cut down my days from five to two or three a week to ostensibly work on my album and to keep days open for helping with the music venue. I was barely trying at either of those things, though. I just made enough money bartending to afford to basically do nothing most days of the week. My sex drive started to slip, too. My poor girlfriend. What was happening to this ambitious, loving diamond in the rough that she had helped me to uncover? She ended up getting a band teaching job and had her own set of extreme stressors to deal with at this point. Our lives went on like this for a year and a half maybe. Toward the beginning of this year, I realized that I was feeling extra shitty and losing weight, so I went through the mind numbing process of getting on medicare, getting a doctor and provider, and getting checked out. They couldn’t find anything wrong. In the meantime, my girlfriend was clearly growing disaffected with our relationship. Quarantine didn’t help matters on any front. I grew increasingly boring and anxious. I was working even less due to COVID. She, being a band teacher, was not working due to it. She had zoom meetings and lesson plans, but was home almost always. She ended up picking up shifts at the bar again to supplement her income. We worked together one day a week. We had several conversations where we both unbottled our feelings and cried, but nothing would change and we’d end up having the same conversation a month or two later. In retrospect, these were the final warnings I should have heeded and tried to change the direction everything was headed in. I increasingly had started experiencing tingling in my extremities with the slightest bit of pressure, a symptom I should have paid more attention to. I chalked it up to wear and tear at first. I got a CT scan done of my pelvis due to unrelated issues, and the arm where they put the IV in had lasting sensation of numbness for about a month. One day, as work was somewhat returning to normal (which, with COVID, didn’t help my anxiety) I lazily laid around working on xenharmonic music for fun on my laptop as I normally would before work. When I got up and started walking to work, however, I noticed that my feet felt kind of off. Then as got to work I noticed that my thinking felt slow and deliberate. As I took orders from customers on our iPad systems, both of my thumbs felt sluggish. I feared I was having a stroke or something, so I sat in the back and tried to decide what to do. I ended up chalking it up to anxiety and powering through work alongside my girlfriend that night. Apparently, I was unnecessarily grouchy and short at work. This was the last straw for my girlfriend, who, that night when we returned from work, said she wanted to break up and move out. I sounded like an idiot trying to explain that something was wrong with me, as if that changed the whole long-term situation. She kind of went back on this, but over the course of our discussions we came to the agreement that it would be best for her to move out. This would give me time and space to “work on myself”. Over the next week the symptoms became unbearable, and have mostly remained so. My limbs are all significantly numb and uncoordinated. Not to the point of complete disability but I fear they are progressing toward that end. I am physically unable to do things I was able to do a couple months ago. I feel weak. My brain feels like it’s working at half speed all the fucking time now. Two months ago I was writing cool and innovative little sketches of xenharmonic music and talking political philosophy online effortlessly. Now I can barely follow what’s going on in a fucking TV show. Writing something like this is very difficult and, even for all the effort I'm putting in, I lack my usual eloquence and varied grammar. My mouth became excruciatingly dry, especially at night while I sleep. I am also a mouth breather in my sleep so my teeth feel disgusting each night. I broke off a piece of my wisdom tooth while brushing and so I went to the dentist, who told me I have 15 fucking cavities and periodontal bone loss. I didn’t think my teeth or oral hygiene were perfect, but holy shit. I almost just drove my filthy car into a tree right then. Strangely enough, I came home from this to get a facebook message from an internet friend’s girlfriend inquiring about a niche shared interest regarding religion. I said I wasn’t doing too well at the moment to talk. She asked if I was suicidal, and when I said yes, she immediately facetimed me and explained that she had lost a brother and a husband to suicide and begged me to reconsider. We had a good conversation, at least as good as I could hold in my state. My girlfriend/ex moved out. Now it’s just me and my buddy, who also struggles with depression. I’ve stayed over at my grandparents’ a lot during all this. My grandma is sweet but caring to the point of being neurotic, so I sometimes have to get away. She’s been a godsend taking me to various doctor’s appointments where I am told the results of this or that test are normal. She’s been making sure I eat and keeping track of my schedule of appointments. I feel like a fucking child. I basically am. I’m not working at all due to these health and cognitive issues. I am hardly doing anything. No one understands. People love me and want to help, but they don’t understand. I’m only 27 and look relatively healthy, or maybe the people who know me just see the healthy me when they look at me. In the time since the dentist’s appointment, my teeth have started feeling loose. they still feel awful every night and I get up multiple times a night to brush. I started seeing a new dentist who my grandma is helping me pay for. He claims I /don’t/ have periodontal disease, just gingivitis. I’m not convinced. I had a brain MRI and EMG scheduled on the same day by a neurologist. Guess who had an allergic reaction to the Gadolinium dye and had to be taken to the ER and didn’t get the EMG yet. My facebook, full of my memories, photos, and videos of my music that i didn’t back up, got reported for having a fake name. Groups and pages I adminned of 20k plus that I could’ve asked for financial help while I figure things out. Probably won’t get all that back. Oh, all the time I wasted over ten years on that account. Gone. Pathetic, lol My ex-gf forced me to get started seeing a therapist. I quit smoking when I had a wisdom tooth extraction. I started an antidepressant. It just seems like it’s too little, too late. All of this is just too fucking much. I know I could’ve been someone great. I know I had great potential and several times I was rescued from what I thought was the brink and given second, third, fourth chances to become that person. But now, it feels as if that person is gone. In his place is a complete failure. Mind that was once nimble, endlessly creative and unique is now sluggish and fractured. Body that was once slim but tight is now sickly and weak. Hands that once pulled impressive feats at an instrument or a controller now struggle to do basic tasks. Hair that was once thick, flowing and playfully unkempt is now a thin rat’s nest of split ends that show my depression. My voice and throat are wrecked too, I didn’t even get into that one. I’m only 27. What the FUCK. I’m going to try some peptides such as BPC-157 to see if I can heal any part of my body or mind enough to get somewhat back to “normalcy” but things look pretty grim. I’m not working, my money is gonna run out before long and I really don’t want to become a full-on burden to others. The worst part is that a couple of months ago my mind was working almost extra well. One of the xenharmonic pieces I posted on facebook was liked by a Sibelius institute professor! That's such an odd combination of impressive and pathetic, I know. I have no proof of that now after being zucced, regardless. It's just that I wish I had THAT mind to help me solve all these issues! My best friend’s wedding is at the end of next month. So that’s one more thing I absolutely have to stick around for. I can’t ruin that moment by not being there. I don’t want to hurt all my loved ones. I don’t want my mom, my grandma, my best friend, my roommate, my ex to feel there was something they could’ve/should’ve done. But I don’t know how long I can fucking take this. Doctors are very little help. Therapist makes me feel better for like 10 minutes until I walk back out into my broken world. The SSRI has made me less immediately suicidal but it doesn’t change the fact that everything in my life has suddenly gone to shit. All I’m fucking doing these days is sitting in a recliner, petting my poor little cat and watching youtube videos on gnosticism/Gnostic Christianity. The idea that our suffering is inherent to the wicked material world and we will be delivered to ineffable enlightened formlessness is of great comfort to me in this time of suffering. Plus, I’ve always found gnosticism to be fascinating in general. If you read this far, bless you. I didn’t expect to type out this whole story. This is really only the surface of my ever-twisting depressing path lol. I don’t know what I expect by posting this but I have virtually no outlets left. I’m so tired. Any response, advice, commiserating at all is appreciated. I love you. Thank you. - - - - - - - BTW- tested negative for Sjogren's, Lyme's, various vitamin deficiencies, diabetes, thyroid issues, and had brain CT and MRI (no contrast though lol). Just to rule out a few suggestions people might make about the health issues. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Hey guys, I know I've posted on a number of posts, but I wanted to hopefully help give you some ideas. 1) When will it be safe to have a wedding? Both Moderna and Oxford trials conclude this month, with their release of their findings to be announced in September. That means next month, we could very well have a date as to when the vaccines will be released to the general public around the world. If I were you, use this as a time to assess the situation and decide what to do from there. If earlier statements of a December vaccine release date are correct, and the vaccines take 1-2 months to build antibodies and T-cells in the body, you're looking at around a February or March for this to start lifting. But Disclaimer: I ain't a doctor, please read credible news sources and be informed of your own volition. 2) How can I prepare if I need to move the date again? Build your Plan B, C, D or X if need be. Communicate to your vendors. Be flexible, and be safe. But you don't need to "start all over": first ask the venue for the next date that works, as well as the rest of your vendors. Same wedding, different date - just don't print your date all over the place and you'll be fine. If anyone gives you crap, start putting everything in writing with delivery confirmation (or email). No more verbal communication - just in case you need to lawyer up. 3) I really want to try on wedding dresses, but, pandemic? There's SEVERAL try-on dress shops that ship to your home. Even better? There's a lot of out-of-work seamstresses, tailors, and costume designers right now. Ever wanted a dress that's ACTUALLY custom made? No, I mean for real, and ACTUAL custom dress? Well, here's your chance. Contact your local tailors and seamstresses. Contact your local film commission branch to see if they have any recommendations. If you're in NYC or LA pretty sure calling the Garment/Fashion district stores will lead you to some wonderful recommendations. As always, make sure you see a portfolio of your designer's work, you communicate your budget clearly, and ask them what a whip stitch is. If they don't know, hire someone else. Even a costume design graduate can do a "thrift flip" aka, take a dress base and tweak it to your style at a much lower cost with some great results. 4) This is horrible! I have more time to wait I don't know what to do with myself! Yah, I feel you. I live in Florida, and I wanted it to be cold (aka, not feeling the makeup melt off my face). The date we had in mind was important to us but, oh well that's how the cookie crumbles and it turns out our new date will be even cuter, so it all worked out. My December wedding is now a March wedding* (pending COVID), so now I have extra time to... oh god.. PLAN MORE SHINY THINGS! :D -I decided to learn how to use epoxy resin to make badass escort cards for really cheap. -I decided to put more energy and effort into the table settings, which I wouldn't have done before. -I decided I'll DIY my signs using a new technique for fun, which I wouldn't have been able to do. -The fiance and I are taking more time to plan our honeymoon for whenever we can do it. -We're making all of our centerpieces with silk flowers. Then it doesn't really matter what time of the year it is, silk flowers don't die and don't have "seasons". You don't even have to water them! :D So I encourage you to embrace the weird. Embrace the crazy that is these times. Think outside of the box. Throw away the "normal" and just go with the times. Don't settle for your dream wedding: push beyond it to surpass your expectations by stepping beyond the comfort zone of normlacy coz this ain't normal. At the end of the day it's going to be ok. Take advantage of this extra time to exchange ideas to make our weddings even more badassical and fabulous, everyone. Use the extra time to make your wedding even more incredible while you protect the lives of those you love. As a final note, to those who absolutely have to get married now for reasons (immigration, army, etc hopefully you get what I mean): My heart goes out to you and I'm sending you ALL the virtual hugs. I really hope some of my suggestions might help some of y'all. Be safe, and hang in there. <3 Let me know what you think, or if you ave any tips as well for those navigating these times!
We already got oursneak peakfrom our 9.5.20 wedding (what you’re all really here for and I thought I'd share a budget breakdown (including our original estimates from our wedding! We were engaged in September 2019 and had a 12 month engagement. Our original plan was to invite 200 people and had already sent our save the dates when COVID-19 blew up. When we sent our formal invitations out we cut it down to 75 people (our immediate family, wedding party and their SOs, grandparents and aunts and uncles knowing that there were quite a few that wouldn’t be able to attend as we wanted to keep it closer to 50 for safety reasons. We sent everyone else a virtual invite to watch via Facebook.))) I used The Knot for keeping track of our guest list and gifts and created a budget spreadsheet for tracking all our wedding costs and making checklists for things to be completed as we got closer to our big day. **Numbers:*\* Invited: 75 RSVP’d Yes: 45 RSVP’d No: 30 RSVP'd yes but did not attend: 1 Our original plan was to invite 200 people and had already sent our save the dates when COVID-19 blew up. When we sent our formal invitations out we cut it down to 75 people (our immediate family, wedding party and their SOs, grandparents and aunts and uncles knowing that there were quite a few that wouldn’t be able to attend as we wanted to keep it closer to 50 for safety reasons. We sent everyone else a virtual invite to watch via Facebook.) **Budget:*\* Original: $21,295 Actual: $16,350 I figured after we had to gut our in person invites we would save a lot of money – but in reality there were a lot of set costs regardless of how many people were there (venue, photographer, etc. We did still come in a little under 5k under budget which I was happy with because I never thought I would be one of those people to spend this much on a wedding. Prior to getting engaged I always said I could do it for under 10k but after finding the venue, photographer we wanted (pictures were very important to both of us I knew that wasn’t going to happen unless I wanted to change my expectations. I did splurge on little things closer to the end – but that was after I knew we were coming in under budget.))
Combined, both sets of parents generously offered us $9,000. Totally unexpected but helped take the stress off!
My husband and I contributed $4,945
Our priorities going into the planning process were as follows:
Venue with both indoor and outdoor options, beautiful photography, great food.
David’s Bridal ordered me the wrong dress and they didn’t charge me the difference when it came in (saved an extra $100. My dress was on sale (originally $1399. I had no idea that I would ever spend this much money on a dress. I initially budgeted $500 but my husband convinced me to bump it up. In the end it was totally beautiful and I didn’t want to take it off. My favorite part about it was the cleavage. I normally dress pretty conservatively and really wanted to wow my husband at the first look haha.))
Alterations - $162 (estimate: $500)
It was already the perfect height for me so I just had bigger cups put in and had the shoulders taken in due to my short torso.
My husband waited until 3 days before the wedding to buy a new shirt and paid $135 at a high end store \face palm*)
Stationary, total: $815.64 (estimate: $450) Save The Dates – $60(estimate: $100)
Ordered using business postcards off of Vistaprint
Invites – $260(estimate: $150)
Had to order twice off Vistaprint due to changes to number of people we were inviting to attend in person. Thanks COVID-19.
Stamps - $152 (estimate: $200) Venue, total: $4,350 (estimate: $5,000) The Hitching Post(Detroit Lakes, MN – $4,000 (estimate $5,000)) I did a ton of research getting quotes before we even went to look at a venue because I didn’t want to fall in love with a place that was going to cost an arm and a leg. My friend is a wedding videographer and actually suggested I check into this place as he had never heard of it before he shot a wedding there. It’s hidden away on some back roads in lake country – and is a two story barn able to hold up to $350. There were quite a few features I loved about this place:
Wedding could be inside or outside (no need to worry about weather)
It was all DIY but had pretty much anything you needed at no extra cost. Tables and chairs of all sizes, tablecloths, table décor, arches, chandeliers, signs, vases, lights – you name it. You could set it up however you wanted! I even left some of the décor I bought myself so the next lucky couple could use what they wanted.
Sound system included. Had we not gutted our in person invites we would have still had a DJ – but this was a great option as we didn’t have to buy any sound equipment to do our own music/MC.
Cabins on site – Cabins were available for an additional charge so the entire bridal party could stay on site for the entire weekend!
We usedSpitfire Bar and Grilland ordered appetizers and buffet styled meals. We were going to go with plated due to COVID-19 but week of they advised us they didn’t have enough people working to actually hand plates out to tables and they would be required to go up and be served by a server just like a buffet. In the end we had small enough groups that I wasn’t worried while saving a ton of money.
Plated Apps - (1 cheese and crackers BBQ meatballs)
Dinner- (1 Mixed green salad, “spitfire” beans, pasta salad, buns and three types of meat – (1 Pulled Pork, (2 rotisserie chicken, and (3) brisket)))
Non-alcoholic Drinks – (1 pop, (2 water (3 coffee)))
Plates, Napkins, Cutlery - $202 (estimate $100) Chips and Water from Costco - $45 (estimate $80) Dessert - $200 (estimate: $190)
Cakes by Althea(Moorhead, MN made both our) two tiered cakeand 75 cupcakes. Originally was planning on getting sheet cake from Costco (YUM for our guests but made changes due to COVID-19. We had three different flavors of cupcakes and they were to die for. We didn’t have any left which means most people had two haha!)
Bar – $450 (estimate: $1,000)
Bleachers (Detroit Lakes, MN We bought a keg of beer for our guests to enjoy and the rest was a cash bar (originally were planning on buying three when we had a larger guest list. This also includes the non-beer drinks we bought for fun (hello shots).)
Stems of Joy Floral(Hawley, MN I found a local florist to do mine and my two bridesmaids bouquets as well as the corsages and boutineers for the important people)
Bulk Flowers from Costco - $257 (estimate: $200)
I was skeptical about getting bulk flowers from Costco but holy crap they were AMAZING! I wanted simple flowers at all of our guest tables as the decorations. I ordered 200 stems of baby’s breath, 100 stems of assorted greenery, and 50 white roses.
Officiant, total: $0 (estimate: $0)
One of our good friends officiated for us – it made the day extra special.
Photography, total: $3,200 (estimate: $3,000)
Kensie Wallner Photography12pm – 8pm. Kensie is a a friend of multiple friends and I’ve seen her work over the last couple of years and fell in love with her work. She was the perfect style for us (more candid/outdoor photos and honestly told my husband that I didn’t care how much she cost – we were going to have her! Photography was more important to us than videography and neither of us wanted to cheap out on it so we just went for it! Her price also included an engagement session that we did earlier in 2019.)
HaiMake Up, total: $265 (estimate: $200)
Hair by Hannah Hendricks at Bucci Salon(Fargo, ND This included a trial and haimake up the day of. Lashes included. The stylist was extremely talented and I could not have wished for anyone better.)
DJ: $285 (estimate: $1000)
PowerPlay DJ– with COVID-19 we decided to skip the dance and play yard games instead. We did still pay for a DJ to play the ceremony music and provide the mics. Worked out great. The rest of the night we used the sound system provided by the venue to use for our first dance and parent/child dances and I created a “Wedding Bangers” playlist on Spotify while we played yard games.
Rehearsal Dinner, total: $155 (estimate: $1,000)
The Roadhouse (Lake Park, MN We were going to pay for food and the first drink for our 30 guests and my husbands parents surprised us and bought everyone’s meals so we just had to cover the drinks! It worked out sweet for us!)
We were so happy we didn’t need to use our slush fund!
Breakfast and Lunch Day of - $187 (estimate: $230)
We bought breakfast muffins and bars from Costco and then ordered subs from Subway for lunch (bought cookies and chips from Costco as sides)
Bridesmaids Hair - $230 (estimate: $300)
To help with bridal party costs we paid for their wedding hair.
Groomsmen Suits - $300 (estimate: $300)
My husband picked some snazzy (but spendy suits and to help offset the costs we paid $100 towards each of their suits.)
Favors - $281 (estimate $0)
We were not going to do party favors when we had a larger invite list – but once it was smaller I felt I had more money to do something fun! I made personalized hand sanitizers and ordered personalized can koozies.
Other Décor and accessories - $350 (estimate: $200)
I ordered cheap IKEA picture frames and used them astable numbers. I designed theinsertsmyself and printed them off at Walgreens. Also printed off a bunch of pictures for a memory table and used existing frames and when I ran out I bought a bunch at the dollar store. Bought fairy lights and extra batteries off of Amazon and never used them as well as 200 yards of Gossamer fabric for random decorating needs. I used about 50 feet of it. Honestly I thought I was going to need to decorate a lot more than we ended up doing because the barn was so beautiful. Wasn’t planning on making a emergency kit myself but I panicked and made one which ran about $50.
Tips - $390 (estimate: $400)
Tips for DJ, baker, HMAU, servers and bartender.
Gifts - $330 (estimate: $300)
We had 2 bridesmaids, 3 groomsmen, 1 officiant, 1 flower girl, 2 ushers, and 4 parents to get gifts for.
Other Expenses Not Accounted For:
Bridal Shower. Thrown by one of my good friends. It was absolutely perfect.
Extra Masks and Hand Sanitizer – I just knew we needed them
Manicure
Gifts for the Bride/Groom. I bought customcufflinksfor my husband and he bought me artwork that drew out a voice recording of his vows from Etsy.
Our rings. We had separate money set aside from our wedding fund.
Things that went well / made the night special:
First look with my dad – My dad had half his tongue removed last year and rebuilt using his arm as well as a 3 months of chemo and radiation. It was a rough time for my family and having him alive today to walk me down the aisle made the day even more special and I wanted some one on one time.
First look with my husband – for obvious reasons.
Spending the entire weekend with our wedding party all in one place. We hadn’t seen each other in person because of COVID-19 and we really needed the bonding time.
Our memorial table. I do not have any surviving grandparents and my husband only has one and was nice to have them included in some, small way.
Cake topper. I LOVE manatees. I found the cutest manatee bride and groom toppers and the splurge was totally worth it.
Our vows. We wrote our own vows and it was just perfect.
My shoes – choosing to wear sneakers instead of heels kept my feet from aching!
Things that didn’t go so well:
The DJ didn’t download our ceremony music and was planning on streaming. Problem is we were having the ceremony outside and there was no wifi. Thanks to problem solving from an usher and our officiant they used one of their phones and the DJ help a microphone up to the phone speaker. I didn’t know anything was awry until someone told me afterwards!
Because the music debacle took so long to fix we started our ceremony late. We were streaming via Facebook using my phone on a tripod and it overheated and crashed and had to be restarted as we were walking down the aisle but it started streaming by the time my dad and I walked down. Again – had no idea – our usher handled it all.
The months leading up to our wedding was very stressful for both of us. On top of the pandemic – my brother suffered a broken neck and traumatic brain injury from a motorcycle accident 6 weeks before our wedding, and my husband’s mom had a stroke two week prior. Thankfully both were able to attend and we were even more thankful they were there. The wedding weekend was amazing – you could tell we all needed some quality time with our loved ones. While it was small - it was full of the people we are closest to and I wouldn’t have changed a thing. Everyone was very respectful about wearing masks inside the venue day of and being cognizant social distancing before and after our special day.
Hello! I hope other brides find this helpful! But first... PICTURES! Location: San Gabriel, Pasadena & Westminister, CA Guests: 250 Budgeted: $35,000 Spent: $32,959 Our wedding was a Chinese/Vietnamese-American Catholic wedding. My husband and I paid for the wedding out of our own pockets. It took us about 2 years to plan and save for the wedding. There were a lot of DIYs to cut costs and help from family and friends setting everything up. Now onto the details! Florals: $294
Bouquets: $129
We bought fresh wholesale flowers from the Flower District in DTLA. My husband and I woke up early in the morning to get the best picks and spent a couple of hours putting it together the day before the wedding. This made for great bonding time. In total we made four bridesmaid/groomswomen bouquets, a small one for the flower girl, the groom's boutineer, the bridal bouquet and flowers for the wedding cake. Our flowers were actually more expensive because it was so close to Valentine's Day. The ribbons and pins were from Michael's and Ann linens. Always use coupons!
Florals for the church alter: $130
We ordered two huge flower baskets for the church alter from the Flower District. We picked it up the day before the wedding since they didn't deliver.
Boutineers (family): $36
Bought ~50 ribbon flower pins from AliExpress for family, aunts and uncles. It's an Asian thing.
Ceremony (Catholic Church): $700
Church Donation: $500
This is pretty much the rental fee.
Coordinator for rehearsal: $50
Pianist: $150
He was actually the church's pianist so he knew exactly what to do.
Tea Ceremony: $479
Vu Quy signage + Floral Arch (rental): $75
This is a sign for wedding day. "Vu Quy" is the term used to signify leaving the house for the husband, and this sign is usually used at the bride's side of the wedding.
We didn't want to share the same tea cup among 20+ relatives
Roasted Pig: $280
Wine: $58
We bought wholesale from a winery
Wedding Trays (rental): $40
To put the gifts for the bride's family. The gifts included wine, fruit, teas and herbs (provided by groom's parents).
Reception: $18,253
Food/Venue: $13,984
Asian banquets charge by the table and each table seats 10 guests--we had 25 round tables + Sweetheart table. The venue included the wedding cake, hors d'oeuvre during cocktail hour, a 9-course family style meal per table and soda. We also paid for special meals for guests that had dietary restrictions and our vendors (MC + Photo/Video team). We had the place from 3PM for set up till 11PM. The venue cleaned everything themselves.
Going with an asian banquet made everything so much easier. It's affordable and it includes everything like tables, chair, table clothes, glassware, plates, lighting and etc.
Open Bar: $1,856
Early on in the wedding planning, my husband and I knew we wanted an open bar cuz a majority of our guests love to drink. One of the deciding factors of our reception banquet was that they had an open bar option in the package. This meant one less vendor for me to worry about. Other banquet halls that we checked out were BYOB/hire your own bartenders. We paid for four hours of the premium menu. They were also very VERY generous with the alcohol so everyone had a blast. They also included virgin drink menu for kids. After doing the math, if each guest had at least one drink, it'll be $7 per head. So it was worth it in my opinion. And at the end of the night, everyone had enough liquid courage to get onto the dance floor.
Emcee + Tip: $550
We hired an MC that spoke Cantonese/Mandarin. She was the MC of a previous wedding we attended. She had a great presence and knew how to keep the crowd going with games.
DJ: $619
The DJ was actually the manageson of the owner so we got a discount when we hired him.
Photobooth: $500
We rented a photobooth for four hours. The package included unlimited use, custom artwork/templates, onsite attendant, CD/cloud download of all photos, props and delivery/setup/tear down.
Sweetheart Table Decor: $173
This included flower row from Aliexpress, candles from Ikea, various sizes of vases from Dollar Tree, Ikea and Burlington Coat Factory.
Table Center Piece: $291
These were completely DIY and we made 25 of these. I bought candle holders and glass bowl from Dollar Tree, fake flowers from AliExpress and glued them all together. As much as I love fresh flowers, I couldn't bring myself to spend thousands on them for them to wilt in a couple of days. It's been a couple of months and I still see my centerpieces at my guests homes!
Wedding favors: $205
I ordered 250 wedding favor boxes from AliExpress and put two ferror rochers into each. The ferror rochers were on sale at Costco. The downside was we had to fold all 250 boxes ourselves. This gave us something to do during those Netflix nights.
Card box: $21
Since this was an Asian wedding, all our guests brought card gifts (e.g. checks, cash, giftcards).
Sparklers: $28
I highly suggest doing an exit with sparklers. It made for awesome pictures/video.
Cake topper: $35
My husband and I are into anime instead of ordering a typical take topper from Etsy, we opted to order a couple of bootleg Nendoroids off of AliExpress to customize figures that look like us.
Photography + Videography: $9,161
Photography + Videography: $9,100
When my husband and I started planning our wedding, we agreed that if we were to splurge on anything, it'll be the photo/video. They were such a dream to work with. Everything went so smoothly because of them. They've worked with Asian weddings before so they knew the ins and out of our day/tradition. They'll tell me if I had a stray hair, if my husband had to move his hand an inch, or to fix my wedding dress. I have absolutely no regrets.
We paid for 14 hour coverage. It was a realllyyyy long day. I think there were about 8 of them with us the entire day.
We also paid extra to have them compile a 3-4min video of the wedding day. This was a great idea because instead of going through 14 hours of footage from multiple cameras, we already have a video to look back on to relive this special day.
City Hall Permit: $61
Some places require a permit for wedding photos. Double check yours!!
Attire: $2,228
Wedding Dress: $1,098
I ultimately decided to rent my dress instead of purchasing it. The rental included the wedding dress (obviously), alterations (two sessions), veil, earrings, hair accessories and dry cleaning. My wedding dress was Perla by Kitty Chen (MSRP ~$2.3k).
Bride's Shoes + Inserts: $97
I bought two pairs of Jewel Badgley Mischka that were both on sale/clearance ($65 + $26) at Nordstroms and Macys. One for the wedding day, and another shorter, more comfortable one for the evening. I highly recommend buying inserts ($6). I was standing, walking and dancing all day (14+hrs).
Evening Dress + Alterations: $275
Something to change into since the wedding dress was so heavy. Plus I wanted to wear something super sparkly and glittery and gold. This was the best time to do it.
Garter Belt: $3
I just bought a cheap one from AliExpress since it was gonna be thrown around in the evening anyway.
Bridesmaid/Groomswomen dress: $208
I bought them the infinity dress so they can be creative and customize it to however they like. In the end, they all ended up looking the same anyway lol
Grooms Suit + Alterations: $179
From the Fashion District in DTLA. This includes shirt, jacket, pants, tie and vest.
I bought 6 satin pairs from AliExpress. Funny story, the pants tore on the butt area while taking jumping pictures. It just couldn't contain this booty. I recommend buying something stretchy.
Traditional Vietnamese Outfit- Bride (rental): $75
Includes the traditional hat, alterations, and cleaning fee
Traditional Vietnamese Outfit- Groom (rental): $35
My husband actually rented the groomsmen style. He didn't like the groom's style or else it would have been $75.
There were two MUAs. This includes bride + five other girls. We started getting ready around 4:30AM till around 9:30AM.
Nails: $155
I paid for my mom and I's nails. It was our first time getting mani professionally done so it was such a treat.
Hair Extensions: $85
I have pretty thin hair so I needed the extra volume.
Misc: $609
Wedding Invitation + Postage: $256
Marriage Certificate: $91
for California!
Sheraton - Junior Suite: $262
I actually used my Chase points for this. The bridesmaids and I slept overnight in the room. We also rented this suite to get our hair and makeup done.
Thank you if you've made it this far! Feel free to ask questions, if any :)
We finally tied the knot! https://preview.redd.it/afbjtchca7k51.jpg?width=2000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1bccb779a28527fc0a4969debefe4ce28cd1e62e Thank you to this sub for all the great ideas during the wedding planning process. I am a frugal person and the wedding sticker shock throughout wedding planning was real! We had a year long engagement, so I had lots of time to plan. Initially the plan was for a backyard June wedding with 125 people invited. Like many brides, due to covid, we postponed that date, and eventually settled on a 10 guest, immediate family only, gathering in August, with plans for a big party next year. Because the initial plan was for 125 invitees (only estimated 90-100 would attend), I prepped for 100. By the time we postponed the initial June wedding I had already bought a bunch of stuff. I’ve included it in my total costs, because technically I bought it for the wedding. TDLR; Total Spent = $4025 Décor - $225 Reception items - $320 Bride’s attire - $420 Groom’s attire - $400 Bridal Party attire - $70 Wedding bands - $700 Food/drinks - $250 Marriage commissioner - $130 Marriage license - $100 Photographer - $1500 - - - - Décor - $225 This includes bud vases, ribbons, name cards, draping fabrics etc… I thrifted pretty much everything. The amount also includes fresh flowers. To save money I bought 7 bunches of flowers for $90, from a wholesale-direct florist that specializes in sourcing locally grown flowers. With these flowers I made my bouquet, 2 bridal party bouquets, and 1 boutonniere. I had maybe 1 bunch worth of leftover flowers. For table décor, I filled bud vases with foraged flowers from the roadside (tansy and queen anne’s lace), supplemented with flowers from my own garden. (the pic has some wilted flowers - the tall bud vases kept on falling over from the light breeze. If I were to do it over, I would get vases with a wider base). I diy dyed 2 cheesecloth table runners. It's very easy if you aren't doing many. After Christmas last year, I bought a bunch of white non-LED Christmas lights at half price, around $10 for 60ft. We strung them up in the yard and they looked magical! Reception items - $320 I wanted to use real dishes/cutlery/glassware/mugs, but didn’t want to do rentals. So, over a period of 6 months or so I thrifted enough for 100 guests. In hindsight, actually using this amount of stuff is crazy and I’m glad I only had to transport/clean stuff for only 12. Also includes table linens, bought from linentablecloth.com. I had them shipped to a US post box and picked them up from there (pre-covid). I ironed them myself (washing and drying did nothing for the creases!) I did mismatched wooden chairs (from my home), and borrowed tables. The tables were varying widths, but that didn't bother me at all. Bride’s attire - $420 Includes custom dress from the etsy store DressCulture. I’ve posted about my dress before, as it was an absolute steal of $185. I only need to do minor alterations such as underlining the straps (they were tulle and a little scratchy), add a bustle, and add a belt. All the alterations I did myself. Belt, hair accessories, and veil were from aliexpress. I wore floral converse sneakers (found on sale), which ended up being the best idea as our first look was on a beach, and the entire ceremony/reception was on grass. A friend gifted me half of my haimakeup costs including, trial. Groom’s attire - $400 Bought a charcoal grey suit from the Bay on Black Friday, and had it altered to fit better. He also bought a dress shirt, vest, tie, and shoes from various mall retailers. We are hoping that the suit will be versatile enough to wear to other occasions. Bridal Party Attire - $70 We each had an attendant, and I bought both dresses second hand from facebook marketplace. I was super lucky that one dress fit perfectly, and the other dress only needed a hem! Wedding bands - $700 My wedding band is from Starsgem (see moissanite). It’s gold with bar set cushion cut moissanite. His is Damascus steel from etsy. Food/Drinks - $250 The costs here are basically for drinks, and cake. We have so much wine in our house now, because I bought around 24 bottles in preparation for original wedding. We bought a celebration cake from a local bakery and placed a cake topper on top. I wanted to put flowers on it too, but ran out of time! My parents paid for the reception food (Chinese takeout). Groom’s mom paid for rehearsal dinner (Indian takeout). My sister paid for appies (diy charcuterie, from the grocery store). For the reception, I thrifted serving platters and my sister transferred the food from the takeout boxes onto the serving platters. Marriage commissioner - $130 Marriage license - $100 Photographer - $1500 Our single biggest expense was for the photographer. The package included an engagement shoot, and 6 hours of time on our wedding day (including a second shooter!). I live in a HCOL area, so this was an absolute steal! We already received our sneak peeks, and they are amazing! Arguably, having 2 photographers for a 12 person event is a bit overkill, but we wanted to go all out, in case covid sticks around and we don’t do the big party next year. Tips for those still planning: Start early! Don't be afraid of buying online from retailers like aliexpress. My hair pins cost less than $1 each, belt was under $10 , and veil was under $3. Shipping takes forever, but that's why you start early! Take advantage of Black Friday and Boxing Day sales. Really really search hard for a photographer. Look places besides wedding wire. I joined a bunch of facebook wedding groups and searched through the responses where other brides were looking for budget photographers. In my area there are hundreds of photographers and MUAs, so it took A LOT of searching to narrow down my options.
8 Ridiculously Amazing Ideas to Use Ribbons at Your Wedding
Strips are a reasonable and bright DIY flexibly that can change straightforward wedding stylistic theme. Since it comes in all widths, hues, and even examples, you can become accustomed to the material for fitting whatever big day thing you're brightening. You can utilize grosgrain and trim strip for including surface and attempt silk lace for a smooth sparkly feel. It is ideal to discover outstanding amongst other wedding supplies providers for purchasing strips, textures, 70x70 square decorative spreads, seat covers, and numerous others. From carefully assembled lace rose flower bundles and rose young lady wands to a tied DIY photograph corner setting, here are the absolute most inventive spots you've seen ladies DIY with lace! https://preview.redd.it/8njq1lz838q51.jpg?width=225&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fea95427c2031b334ff08f3466c955cdec4ae4d2
Wedding Party Ribbon Bouquets
Wedding flower bundles decorated with following silk, stain, or velvet strip look divine and furthermore include the ideal sentimental touch. Utilizing an assortment of strips with marginally various shades and surfaces praises the characteristic tints and will take your bouquet to the following level.
Lace Stationery
Numerous individuals love the surface, extravagance, and delicate quality that including a bit of strip for complementing your solicitations, service projects, and day-of-fixed makes, an incredible path for consolidating your wedding hues consistently.
You can likewise manage visitors to their supper seats with the assistance of the escort card. You can likewise utilize glossy silk decorative liners to add a delicate surface to your table.
Strip settings are ideal for behind the top table, cake table, or as a background for your photograph corner. The strip is additionally an extraordinary method of adding a fly of shading to your space.
Strip Chair Décor
Perhaps the prettiest approaches to tidy up your seats, however discount strips in mass and deck out your seat right to the floor, and in the event that you are on a careful spending plan, complement only the lady and husband to be's seat for making them additional uncommon.
Spot Settings
You can spruce up your supper napkins with pretty glossy silk, velvet, or silk lace. Also, for an additional wow factor you could utilize calligraphy for setting your visitor's names on the strip. These are some prettiest approaches to utilize lace on your unique day. You can locate a main wedding supplies provider for purchasing strips, texture, work wrap, decorative liners, seat covers, and numerous others at discount costs.
Wanted to share my plan for our Reylo themed wedding. Please share any other ideas in the comment section! We're getting married in 2 years, and are planning on a Reylo themed ceremony w/ general nerd themed reception. It will be backyard DIY w/ about 90 guests. The backyard (of my parent's country house) is connected to the woods, so the ceremony will be in the woods (like when Kylo and Rey met in the forrest). Ideas I have are me wearing a red and black ball gown (prom dresses are way cheaper than white dresses lol) and him wearing a tan tux w/ blue bow tie. I want to get Reylo handpainted tennis shoes from etsy. Bridesmaids will wear red w/ black nails (i saw some cute white star wars tennis shoes on etsy for only $30) and groomsmen blue. We will have blue, red, purple, and black flowers in the boquets, and they will be in the handle part of the lightsabers. I want to walk down the aisle to Across the Stars. (One of my brother plays the piano, so he can play the force theme music on his keyboard while the bridal party walks down, and then my SO's brother can play Across the Stars on his violin when I walk down. My 2nd brother and his wife will do a duet w/ guitar for our first dance <3). For the reception, I want to buy a dozen lightsabers (prob inflatable) for guests to battle with. Our backyard has a trampoline, so we can even have 1v1 matches lol. And for cocktail hour, we want to put blueberries and strawberries on seperate skewers to make red and blue lightsabers. Also make these tie fighter shaped cheese and cracker appetizers. Our DIY photobooth can have a couple of star wars themed props. For tables, I have a ton of funko pops, so each table is gonna be a dif fandom w/ corresponding funko pops (and the ships grouped together obviously). Our sweetheart table will have all my kylo ren and rey pops. Any other star wars pops will be put on misc tables like food, dessert, gift tables. And we wanna get custom made pops for our cake topper. I'm tempted to try to make alcoholic and non alcoholic blue milk (like at Galaxy Edge), but since we're on a budget and just planning to have wine set out on tables during dinner, idk if my bridal party adn i could make almost 100 drinks like that ourselves. Oh, and we want to buy the costumes. I will get Rey and him Kylo for that. We will do either do an engagement photo session in them or, since one of my best friends who will be a bridesmaid is a film major, ask if she can help us record a short video of us in the costumes for our invite. It will save on invites if we do a digital invite with a video. I even made a script of us recreating the Reylo scenes with humor XD. (examples- Us about to do the shirtless scene, and me being like woah woah, this is a Christian wedding. can't you put a cowl on or something?, or at the end him dying and me being like lmao get up. him- what? I thought i was supposed to be dead? me- are you kidding me, that's a terrible ending. cmon. we're getting married.) After ceremony, I want to change into a white dress and him like a red button up or something. Just bc I know he wants a white dress for me. And at the end, when it is time for our send-off, we will do one more quick change into our reylo costumes, and then we will leave with a sparkler send off!! Alright, those are all my ideas! Feel free to share thoughts, comments, concerns, etc. PS- My SO is the best for agreeing to this. I'm surprising him in return by booking our disney world honeymoon at a resort I absolutely know he will love for the theming. Also, he gets to help pick out some of the table fandoms like video game and anime for him.
Budget/Breakdown: $30k MN July wedding, 100 guests, Long engagement
First of all,PHOTOS! Background info We live in Minnesota, were high school sweethearts, and are in our mid-20s. Of the 10 years we’ve dated, we’ve lived together for 5 years and were engaged for 2.5 years. I planned everything myself, and we paid for the wedding ourselves. Pros of a long (2+ years) engagement:
It felt right for us and allowed us to leisurely enjoy being engaged
Plenty of time for research and venue visits
Most vendors were available on our date
Costs were spread out and thus easier to afford
Months at a time with nothing wedding-related to do (helped mitigate burn out)
No cold feet. We both felt VERY ready to be married when the day finally came
Cons of a long engagement:
DH’s grandpa died two months before the wedding. If we had a shorter engagement, he would have been able to attend.
With nothing else to do for months, I overthought and doubted decisions
I got bored and created things for myself to do (which resulted in blowing the budget)
The month leading up to the wedding was still stressful and crazy, despite how much I planned ahead
Budget and Gifts Initial budget: $20k Final cost: $29k Our parents/grandparents gave us $17k in total, and gifts from guests totaled $3k. Guest List If I had to plan a wedding again, I might elope, only to avoid the guest-list drama. My guest list: 80 Parents’ guest list: 200+ Guests invited: 125 Guests RSVP’d yes: 101 Guests invited late due to parents begging: 7 Guests who actually attended: 98 (2 of whom RSVD’d no) Theme My vague theme was "royal wedding in the park." My inspiration words were, "Colorful, elegant, simple, and classic." Final Costs Day-of Coordinator: $1175 If I could only give one piece of advice, it would be to hire a coordinator. Nothing major went wrong, thanks to our coordinator. Neither me nor my family had to lift a finger to set up or tear down. It was an entirely relaxing, wonderful day. Attire: $4430 In my experience, buying my dress two years before the wedding was great. I recommend waiting to buy your accessories, though. I thought I needed this $500 belt, but by the wedding day, I liked my dress better without it. I only wore it for the reception. 3 bridesmaids skirts (DIY): $230 My dress: $1200 Accessories: $700 Alterations (hem, take in the bust, bustle, add straps): $550 Groom tux and attire (rented from The Black Tux): $200 My ring (excluding engagement ring): $900 His ring: $650 Hair and Makeup: $1200 I let everyone choose whether they got hair and makeup done and how they wanted to look. Everyone but my mom opted in. I disliked the hair stylist I was assigned. Even after after a second trial, my updo was frizzy, sloppy, and coming out before the ceremony. Bridesmaids hair also came out before the ceremony. My hair and makeup (including a trial): $400 2nd hair trial: $65 3 Bridesmaids and MOG haimake up: $600 Tip: $150 Stationary: $328 I designed and printed our invitation suites myself, which was stupid. The paper I bought wasn’t made for printer ink, so although they looked beautiful at first, most of the ink rubbed off in the mail. In hindsight, I should have had them professionally printed on good paper. I spent hours on those invites--even doing calligraphy for every name and address--just to have them smudge. STDs from Minted: $118 Invites (DIY): $100 Thank You Cards: $25 Postage: $85 Venue: $3480 Both the ceremony and reception were at a local park with a lovely indoor space. Counseling: $160 In hindsight, we should have skipped pre-marital counseling. We have a fantastic relationship, but I thought we should try it. We did Prepare-Enrich, which reported we had no weaknesses, and had an hour of therapy. Afterward, the therapist said we could continue but didn’t think we needed to. Dance Lessons: $80 This covered four dance classes. It was a group class designed for engaged couples practicing for their first dance. We had so much fun! The weekly lessons were like date nights. We had no prior dance experience and learned a ton. Officiant and License: $515 Food for the drama llamas: Shortly after we got engaged, I asked my distant cousin (a pastor) to marry us and he agreed. Two years went by. I struggled to get him on the phone or talk about logistics. When we did finally talk, he wouldn’t let us get a word in and talked for two hours about how we needed more pre-marital counseling. Two months before the wedding, he said he didn’t feel comfortable marrying us because we live together and aren’t religious. I was annoyed but relieved, and we hired an officiant. Officiant: $400 Marriage license: $115 Photo and Video: $4575 For videography, I wanted raw footage because I dislike modern wedding videos. Before hiring him, I told our videographer I didn’t want to see things the photographer was already capturing. I wanted him to film stuff I would miss. Candid moments. Family arriving, groomsmen goofing off, my sister carrying my train, my little cousins playing. But instead, he stuck to the traditonal script and filmed bridal party posing for pictures, the ceremony, speeches, and the dance floor. In hindsight, I should have just “hired” a friend to be the videographer. On the other end of the spectrum, our photographer was incredible! Photography: $3800 Videography: $775 Food and drink: $5815 Many people doubted my decision to have tacos for dinner and donuts for dessert (no cake). (At least DH was super excited about the food I picked!) I defended my decisions, and it turned out great. Appetizers and buffet dinner: $4155 Donuts: $220 Open bar (beer and wine only): $1440 DJ/entertainment: $1125 In addition to a DJ, we had ping pong and a retro arcade cabinet (both borrowed from DH’s uncle), which people enjoyed. I’m sad DH and I never got a chance to play. Decor: $1370 I won’t go into the saga that was finding cylinder vases and pillar candles for a reasonable price. The lesson is to do all DIY as early as possible. Just do it now because it will not go as planned and you’ll have to resort to plan B (or C or D.) Chair rental cost surprised me. We needed 100 basic chairs for 20 minutes, and most vendors quoted me $1k. My friend’s dad rents chairs for graduation parties but was willing to do weddings too, so I got a deal. If you’re looking for basic chairs, try searching for grad party rentals instead of wedding rentals. Vases and candles: $50 and my sanity Blue goblets from eBay: $540 Ring box: $40 Ceremony arch (DIY): $45 Place cards (DIY): $20 Paper cranes (DIY): $5 Fake greenery for headtable: $100 Chair rental for ceremony: $570 Floral: $2440 Flowers on ceremony arch: $400 Floral centerpieces: $100 each Greenery centerpieces: $50 each My bouquet: $300 Bridesmaids bouquets: $150 each Boutonnieres: $15 each Corsages for moms: $30 each We had some random buds scattered on other tables too, which were $50 per table. The rest is taxes and delivery fee. Gifts: $75 I gave my bridesmaids silk butterfly clips from Etsy to wear in their hair. DH gave his dad and groomsmen custom flasks. To each of the parents, I wrote heartfelt notes. Bridesmaids gifts: $25 Groomsmen gifts: $50 Parent gifts: $0 Honeymoon: $2300 Four days in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. We’ve been there several times before, which meant we didn’t have to plan or research anything. DH grandparents offered the use of their timeshare, so hotel was free. We waited too long to book flights, so they got expensive. Hotel: $0 Flights: $1800 Food/activities: ~$500 What Went Well When we started planning, DH and I had a conversation about expectations. I asked, “What makes it a wedding to you?” His answer surprised me, and it helped me prioritize things while planning. Hiring a day-of coordinator was the best money spent. I was worried about being sick with anxiety all day. My mom told me if I expected myself to be anxious, I would be. I took her advice and actively corrected my thinking. I pictured myself calm and happy as often as possible. In moments of stress, I focused on things I was excited about. In the weeks leading up, I told myself over and over I would be at ease and carefree. And it was so! I couldn’t believe it! If it’s going to be hot and you’re doing photos outside, bring cooling towels. Our bridal party loved them in between pictures. If you don’t want to do something, then don’t. No one will miss it. We skipped a lot of “traditions” and no one noticed. We had no guestbook, cake cutting, father-daughter dance, bouquet toss, garter toss, grand entrance, or grand exit. We did a receiving line, and it was the best. It got the hugs and congrats done right away and ensured we greeted every guest. It only took about twenty minutes. Then, at the reception, we were free to mingle with whomever we wanted to talk to more. No one pulled us aside or interrupted us during the reception. Instead of a father-daughter dance, my dad played accordion and guests participated in a group folk dance. It meant a lot of my dad. It was also a sneaky way to get a lot of people on the dance floor for when the DJ started. I was surprised by how much power the bride has. I realized this when people on the dance floor mimicked my moves and responded to everything I did. If I clapped my hands to the beat, so did they. If I left the floor, they stopped dancing. If I pointed at someone across the floor, they pointed back and we sang lyrics together. As a shy person, I’ve never experienced anything like this. Once I realized my power, I used it for good. I made a point to dance with people who had no date or knew no one. I thanked and complimented people profusely. I visited more tables than I normally would have. What Went Wrong The list below is nitpicking for the sake of this post. I mean it when I say the day was absolutely perfect and nothing on the list below affected our happiness.
My dress was too long, which made it almost impossible to walk without holding up my skirt. The only time this really mattered was walking down the aisle. Every time I tried to look up at my DH and enjoy the moment, I would trip on my skirt. It kind of spoiled the moment.
We only registered for gifts at the insistence of our moms. It wasn’t worth the effort because most people gave us cash anyway. I wish we hadn’t bothered.
The DIY invitations smudged in the mail (see above)
I forgot to give my beautiful, sparkly belt to the photographer to include in the details shots. Oops!
In the morning, while steaming my dress, my brand new steamer malfunctioned. My mom had to run out for a new one with only 30 minutes to spare.
During the ceremony, holding back tears made my nose run. The officiant handed me a tissue, but I wasn’t going to blow my nose during our beautiful ceremony! I couldn’t even give it a good wipe because that would look gross and smear my makeup. I dabbed a few times, but the snot just kept coming! These are the thoughts that occupied my mind throughout our ceremony. By the time of our first kiss, the snot had trickled onto my upper lip, and I felt sorry for DH having to kiss me. I brought it up later and we both laughed. Now it makes for a hilarious memory!
The expensive floral centerpieces, which I had carefully planned to be on VIP tables, ended up on the wrong tables.
The videographer didn’t film the “behind-the-scenes” moments like I wanted (see above)
My grandma, who is in early stages of dementia, got lost and didn’t arrive early for family pictures. She arrived just in time for the ceremony, luckily. We took pictures with her during happy hour instead.
I had my period on the wedding day. I think I earned some kind of female achievement award for changing tampons in a white ballgown! My sisteMOH was a rock star.
I couldn’t eat more than two bites of dinner. This was a combination of being too hot, the very tight bodice of my dress, and adrenaline. I felt like Scarlet O’Hara at a BBQ.
My poor bouquet was neglected at the end of the night. I put it in a vase during the reception and forgot about it. The next day, I found it stuffed in a box (with no vase or water) where it had sat all night. It was heartbreaking to see it so wilted. I put it in water, which perked it up, but it could have lasted so much longer. I should have designated someone to take care of my bouquet.
The beautiful silk blue ribbon wrapped around my bouquet was lost (likely thrown away during clean up.) Even now, seven months later, I still think about my lost ribbon sometimes and feel sad.
Finally, I just want to say thank you to this wonderful community. I got a lot of ideas and support from this fantastic group. This place is unique among subreddits and online communities. Please never change, Weddit!
DAE feel completely lost when it comes to decor / flowers?
I'm an event planner, so I've felt very confident in my abilities to plan our wedding. However, I've only ever planned corporate events where any "decor" was just branding and marketing for the company, and there def were never any flowers. People keep recommending Pintrest for ideas, but I find it so overwhelming / intimidating! I want to do some cute DIY crafts for table decor & gifts, but I don't even know where to start! As for the flowers, what should I be looking for in a florist? I live in Toronto, does anyone have any recommendations? Thanks everyone!
Ahead on Wedding Planning: Any ideas for things I can work on for the next 13 months?
We were on the ball with our wedding planning before COVID hit--like, I've never been this organized in my LIFE--and now we've postponed nearly a year. I'm itching to work on something wedding-related, probably to stave off the persistent bummed-out feeling hovering over me. I'm doing my best to just enjoy being engaged, but I find myself fiddling with details that are already planned whenever I have down time. So, weddit, what I can I do? This is where we're at right now: -Booked and finalized new date with: venue, caterer, decor rental company, photographer, videographer, day-of coordinator, DJ/sound equipment, flowers, haimakeup, weekend transportation, hotel room block. -Decor elements selected. I didn't plan to DIY anything, so the decor will all be rented. It will be super simple to allow the beauty of our venue to shine--just flowers and candles in clear vases/containers as centerpieces + an arch for the ceremony. So there really isn't a need for other elements that I can think of? -Dress purchased; shoes purchased; women's dresses selected; flower girl dress selected, need to choose her basket; general idea of what we want for guys' outfits; women's getting-ready outfits selected; both our rings received (haven't decided yet if I want a wedding band); still brainstorming gifts for my parents and wedding party; need to schedule haimakeup trial when it's safe to do so -Change-the-dates sent; invite, ceremony program, thank-you notes, and escort cards drafted; website set up and pages with subject-to-change details drafted. -Guest list finalized; table arrangement drafted; favors/gift bags selected; dinner menu tentatively selected -Ceremony drafted; schedule for day drafted; still talking about who we want to officiate; need to apply for marriage license in the spring. -I have lists of: photos we want; reserved seats for the ceremony; extra tables we'll need for altar, etc. (our venue provides chair and table setup for the ceremony and reception); number of boutonnieres, bouquets, etc. needed; photos for the photo/card table; signs we'll need; coloring pages and crayons for the kids; first dances, do- and don't play songs for DJ; Our Zola registry is set up but not published yet. -My MOH and mom had a bridal shower planned for last weekend :( which will happen sometime next year instead. I'm hoping to have a bachelorette with my wedding party the same weekend, but I can't plan those details till we have a date. My in-laws are planning the groom's dinner the night before. I think that's everything, according to my spreadsheet. Because it's all organized in a spreadsheet, I theoretically won't forget things I can't do till next year. There's a lot I need to confirm with our parents and vendors, but it doesn't make sense to bug them with it right now. If it's relevant, we're getting married in our current city in Minnesota, USA. So what am I forgetting? Is anyone else in the same situation? If anyone in the early planning stages would find my perspective on getting this far helpful (all the big things were pretty much done by the end of last year), please let me know! I'm happy to send or post a clean copy of my spreadsheet.
I spent a long time perusing this subreddit in search for some ideas, so I hope this long recap is helpful for all you future brides and grooms :) Some pictures: https://imgur.com/a/NbR6D0Y Originally our budget was around $7k for 53 guests. We ended up spending closer to $8k, due to some last minute additions. Some were necessary due to unusually cold weather, and some were "splurges" on our end due to our year end finances being a tad better than we expected. We really wanted to have a wedding that didn't follow the wedding "mold", so we did chuck most traditions (no toasts, no bridal party, my sister led the ceremony, our wedding ceremony was in a spiral seating formation). We only invited immediate family and close friends. Since everyone had to travel to attend (between my husband and I we have lived in 12+ cities over the last 10 years), we gave everyone plus 1s, though maybe only half of our guests ended up bringing a significant other. We ended up having 53 guests. Our venue: $420. Our venue was a public park and Pavillion in Breckenridge, CO. We were able to use a friend's address for the "locals" discount, otherwise it would have been $1k. The venue came with picnic tables for the outside, and tables and folding chairs, and we had it from 7 am-10 pm. And a gorgeous mountain backdrop! No one was using the pavillion the day before, so the park staff let us start loading our stuff in the night before, which was extremely helpful! Since we got married on the early side of the summer season, and on a Monday, there was no one at the park and it felt like a private venue. We got married on a Monday because we're both classical musicians, and most of our friends are as well, and Monday is the day off for all of us. Patio Heaters: $800 This was a frantic last minute addition, due to the weather being unseasonably cold. It actually snowed 3 days after our wedding, and the snow didn't melt all day! Again, our wedding being on a Monday really helped our situation, because we knew we most likely did not need to book the heaters very far in advance. Blankets: $130 We got about 25 blankets from Walmart the weekend before the wedding. They actually ended up all being used, and most people took them home and still use them! I think we only had 5 blankets left at the end of the night. Food Catering: $2100 It was pretty tricky to find catering that we liked and wasn't too expensive, due to the wedding being in Breckenridge and the lack of a kitchen at the park pavillion. Most food trucks in Denver didn't want to go up into the mountains, but we luckily found a delicious food truck that took the risk. The $2100 included 3 appetizers, a salad, a choice from 5 different sandwiches and 3 sides, as well as travel and tip. Bar: $930= $240 (bartender) + ~$200 (bar supplies that we purchased) + $290 (wine and champagne) + $60 (beer) + $140 (2 signature cocktails) The bartender was a last minute splurge for us. I got worried about our friends drinking at high altitude, and wanted to make sure there was someone moderating the flow of alcohol ha. Our bartender was also able to get the supplies for the signature cocktails from his restaurant at lower prices! We had waaaay too much booze. We returned about 8 bottles of wine back to Trader Joe's, and drank the leftover beer all summer long. Unfortunately we couldn't save the leftover cocktails due to storage issues, but had about 1/3 left of that too. We resold about $150 of our bar supplies (large cooler, buckets for chilling, beverage dispensers) through a Facebook wedding group. Desserts: $270 We got wayyyy too much dessert for our guest count. Half sheet cake from Whole Foods, 3 pies, and 2 cakes from a local bakery, in addition to fruit and watermelon. We ended up eating the leftovers with our friends that stayed in Breckenridge all week long. Coffee/tea: $90 Got coffee from starbucks right before desserts started, and bought an assortment of tea before. Since it was a particularly cold day, I think the hot drinks were much appreciated! Happy Hour Tab: $300 We got drink tickets at this bar and handed them out to our friends for the happy hour the day before the wedding. We had different games for people to get to meet each other. One was guest trivia bingo. Every guest had to submit a interesting fact about themselves, and then we arranged bingo style cards with the facts, and guests had to find out who each fact belonged to. I think it was a really good way for people to meet who hadn't met before. My husband also organized trivia about us, which the guests had more fun with than I expected! Cocktail Hour Food and Weekend before wedding food (picnic, happy hour, snacks for hikes, food for families): $600 This is hard to split up because it was all done in one grocery store run. We did our own cheese platters for the cocktail hour. We also hosted a happy hour the day before the wedding at a local bar for friends who got to town early, and had a lot of snack-y type foods there. Most guests ended up leaving the wedding with a goodie bag of leftover cheese, as I did go a bit overboard with the cheese. The $600 grocery store also included food for our families for the weekend before the wedding. Entertainment DIY Photobooth: $250 This was definitely the biggest pain in the butt DIY project, as I nor my husband are tech savvy. I was pretty stubborn in that I wanted guests to be able to print the pictures, and I wanted the quality of the camera to be good (so not an iPad camera). Thankfully my sister's boyfriend is very tech savvy and ended up figuring it out for us. We used his Canon camera, a photo printer we had bought on Black Friday, an iPad app that connected to the Canon camera as well as the printer, and lighting umbrellas. The biggest issue was our guests kept on looking down at the iPad where the count off was, and didn't look at the camera lol. Despite that, the pictures turned out great! Yard Games: $150 We bought ladder toss, giant Jenga, and Cornhole and ended up reselling them for about 75% of the cost after the wedding. Sound: $165 We made our own Spotify playlists for pre ceremony, cocktail hour, dinner, and dance. It was actually a very fun way to spend time with my husband, and we have been enjoying listening to them since the wedding. We rented speakers and microphone from Guitar Center for $165. The biggest issue we had, that we didn't think about, was due to the cold weather, guests were half inside the pavillion, half outside the pavillion, so getting things announced was a bit trickier than expected. Decor: around $400 This includes tablecloths and napkins, which we bought on Black Friday and then donated to a local non profit after the wedding, as well as signs that I made, runners, disco lights for the dancing, some christmas lights we hung up outside, as well as origami paper for the 1000 cranes my husband and I folded. Flowers: $330 $40 (Sola wood flowers that I dyed myself) + $110 (Costco fresh bouquets) + $30 (vases bought online and at the dollar store) + $150 (succulents, that guests took home as favors). Photographer: $400+tip This was another last minute addition. Basically a couple of months before the wedding, we got worried we'd regret not having a photographer at all. Posted in a Facebook wedding group saying we had a budget of $400 and who was available on this Monday and for how many hours could they come. I got around 40+ responses! Ended up getting an awesome photographer for 3 hours (she normally charges $1800 for 4 hours of coverage.) I think we got lucky that we were having the wedding at the beginning of summer season, as well as on a Monday. Invitations: $25 We got postcard invitations from vistaprint, and used postcard stamps on those. Attire: $270 My dress was $90 from Lulu's and didn't need any alterations, and my husband bought a vest for $50. We also last minute added $60 for a flower crown and boutonniere for him from a local flower shop. I got a haircut the day of the wedding, and they curled my hair for me as part of the haircut, $70. My friend did my makeup. Gifts for family: $400 My sister, her boyfriend, and a friend of my sister's were the MVP's of the day. All our family helped us set up the tables the morning of the wedding, and it only took about an hour. However my sister, her friend, and boyfriend, helped keep the entire wedding on track, set up the photobooth, ran over to Starbucks to get the hot drinks, and way more than I can think of right now. Things I would have done the same: Our style of wedding definitely isn't for everyone, however we just wanted something casual celebrating with all of our loved ones. It worked perfectly for us, and for our friend group! The favorite part of the entire event was definitely that we organized multiple activities the weekend before the wedding (kayaking trip and picnic, one intense hike, one easy hike, happy hour at a bar, and post wedding hang out at a bar) and got to spend a lot of time with out friends who came from all over the world to celebrate with us. This also helped take off the pressure the day of the wedding that I had to make sure to spend quality time with every guest, as I had already spent a good amount of time with around 75% of our guests that had arrived earlier. We got a lot of comments from guests about how unique our wedding was in it's vibe. We also, while being on a budget, wanted to make sure our guests felt taken care of (might have over done that in terms of the vast amounts of food and drinks we had provided). Things I would have done differently: I wish we had hired some help for clean up after the wedding. We had 9-10 pm to clean up, and I had designated some friends to lead away our guests to a bar. However that plan totally failed and the majority of our friends stayed back and helped us clean up, regardless of how much I yelled at them all to leave ha. It was extremely nice and generous of them all, however I wish we could have avoided that and just hired someone to clean up. Outdoor wedding venues come gorgeous, but with lots of risks! We set up everything by 10 am, looking beautiful. However a huge storm came in around 1 pm, got our tablecloths wet, knocked off half our vases. Miraculously with the help of friends we got everything reset up in about 30 minutes. We were able to do our ceremony outside as planned with the view of the mountains, however a huge storm was gradually approaching throughout the ceremony. Right before the exchange of the rings everyone had to run for cover, and we finished the ceremony inside. Again, this style of wedding is not for everyone, but it worked quite well for us. Most importantly, having friends and family helping us made the event feel much more communal, and less like a "production" feeling that I really wanted to avoid. Maybe would've ironed the tablecloths for the pictures, but that went in the eff it bucket the weekend before the wedding ha. That's about it! If you made it this far, I hope this was helpful for you, and DM me if you have any questions!
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Wedding edition - DIY table seating plan - YouTube
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